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title: GREAT JOB ALL GYMNASTS ! (:
Soon it was over . My clubs routine was fine , better than any routine i did , as expected . Though i felt that i did fine i only got 6.30 . And thinking about it , if i were to get my spin to be one round , caught my small pao , didn't hit my arm while swinging the clubs after ban tui , kong tui for long enough , i'd probably hit 8 -.- That's for clubs . Hoop , though its the easiest routine , i didn't do as well , but managed to pass at least . Thinking back on competition day when it was just a few minutes before my turn for my clubs routine , i saw DJT crying . I saw Esther crying . I saw Nat crying . I saw XJT giving upset faces . I looked at lao shi , though she didn't really show , but i could tell she was disappointed . And i asked Jayna why , because we're all so screwed . I was the last to compete , among my 3 other teammates . Cassia did fine , at least she didn't drop . She managed to pass . Sabrina and Melissa dropped . I was at the side practicing and i glanced over once in a while during their routines . Cassia got the ah crap must do well look . Sabrina injured some bone in the thigh , i really did pray hard for her . Melissa was nervous , i could tell . I was mumbling "jiayou" all the while . It was only after they compete when i see everyone tearing . And i look at the end of the mat , 1 more gymnast to go , and its my turn . I realised i had to do well , cause i'm the last to compete , and whether the B div compuls' marks increase or decrease depends on me . Yes i was nervous , but i thought i don't have any other choice but to do well . I did try my best i know , i hang in there as long as i could , even though i'm already half dead after ban tui . I was sucking oxygen through my nose , mouth , skin and every part of my body i know , so as to fill my lungs every now and then . I caught the 1st pao , but drop the 2nd , i gave mdm wang li a sorry look , and i can totally imagine the facial expression changes of DJT , XJT and the rest . Which is what made me push on , and i know i can't screw any other parts . After my routine i was rather contented , as i waited for the result . Gymnast 29 : 6.30 . OKAY LAH , was what i thought . Oh well , its all over . (: Now its the time to really concentrate on my studies and make sure i do well for my midyears . |
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title: SU HUI , YOU ARE SO SO SO SCREWED . THAT IS . Haven't been posting for quite some time . Shall post about today's competition and how much i screwed up . Got up early the morning , was really tired cause i train like mad the day before , because i wasn't confident with my ribbon routine . Today i kinda expected the result for that routine , but i didn't expect myself to forget the routine at the more important parts . Hoop routine was fine , 5.48 was bad enough but i passed though -.- after hoop routine is when i became very tensed , because next was ribbon . As i was practicing at the side , i did fine . That big throw was fine , i could still caught it . When it comes to the real thing , i screwed that throw , never mind . My ribbon has this little knot at the end , i didn't know , until i finished my screwed routine . In fact i didn't even complete my routine cause i miss out the whole lot of moves that costs a lot of marks . The judges put their pens down and stared , and gave me a "hmm ? forget what's next ? " kinda face . I mean like i only started ribbon a few days ago seriously . I didn't put in hope in it , cause i know i will screw it , i learn that routine the last . What's more , we don't really have a proper coach , we're like all by ourselves , wwls just sucks , she doesn't even bother about us . I've no idea what's she's busy with , but i'd rather she not come , cause it simply proves that without her we'll still do great , though i didn't really today but will fine after cooling down a while after screwing that routine . Promised Adeline not to screw up tomorrow , cause clubs is my strength . Although its a dangerous equipment , i think i'll do better in that than hoop . I don't know , no guts to think further about it , i only know i'm left with 12 hours to my clubs routine . Which is not a lot minus the time that i take to sleep . ( i'm the only pig that needs to hibernate in case you didn't know . ) That minute still flashes in my head . When i forget , it feels damn scary , cause you've 10 pairs of fishballs staring at you , while you tried to think , and the stupid music is going really fast that it makes you feel as though its ending now and that you haven't finish your routine . Adeline did great today , though she didn't catch her big throws for rope , she has improved . And she never deproves . NEVER . 12 more hours to death . shall go shower and wait for my heart to stop .
Labels: as you always wanted the best in me ., I've let you down |
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title: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ER GE !!!!!!! Whoa , someone finally hit 20 eh ? Next year will be the real legal age for you . Its been great hearing that you got into OCS after coming home from school yesterday . "eh , er ge got into OCS . " Was what i got from you . ( It was a fullstop , not exclaimation mark is what i had realised . ) But you weren't exactly happy about it cause you've to study still for your As . And what i heard from you is that OCS is some place that people are being treated really badly and many of them ended up quiting before even completing the whole thing . Dad promised to give you tution fee , but try to stay in it if you can , if not you know dad , he'll hit the roof . I was really upset that on 5th feb , its your turn to go to the army , but i'm sort of getting used to you not being around . I realised that its still the same (: I thought it would turn out to be like 1st bro , but it didn't , we treasured time together . And i'll be like annoucing to the whole family early the morning : " ER GE HUI LAI LE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " when the door open with a smell of mud and stinky clothes and heavy footsteps from boots . I woke up early the morning for piano today , and head to the kitchen for breakfast . What i saw was 2 big and tall candles on top of the cake in the fridge . It must be mom , who always get things ready . " What do you want for birthday present ? " " Nothing , just study hard and don't end up like me ." " Bro , i failed my POA test badly again ." " Its alright . Get up and continue moving . When you were young , you were a smart ass . And i don't think you've grown stupi-er as you grow . If you're hungry enough to score better , you will . " When your SAT was getting nearer , you still squeeze in time for me to meet you at KAP to study with you . I'm just blessed with such a caring brother . Thanks bro , happy birthday . |
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title: Trust. Another tiring day . School seemed to last really long today , though its ends at 1.30 . Went to Macs for lunch before gym , a usual place that we'll chill out before going home and back to school . Soon it was 3.30 and time for me to head back to school to work like some mad bull . Lao shi really don't like me today , its fine , used to it . Well , basically , my phone died on me , got keypad light no screen . Old already , used for 1 year plus . Shan't talk about that .
Trust . Simple and easy to understand , but hard to earn for me . All because i love lying when i was in Primary school , i know its kinda lame but don't expect much from me in primary school , cause the difference compared to now is freaking huge . I hardly get outings , so i treasure each and everyone of them . And if you were to ask me why i hardly get outings , i don't fully blame my mom on that , i know myself that i've to buck up on my studies , especially when my results are this shity . I don't get it why she doesn't trust me when i'm already 15 . I know its not very old , but i believe at 15 , its old enough for a parent to trust their kids . My mom just don't , my fate lah , be that way . Guess what . She doesn't trust me for the big things , maybe i'll understand , perhaps its not old enough for her , but i was really really upset and disappointed that she doesn't trust me for the tiniest things . I came back from school rather late cause of gym on yesterday night . And i've always been late just that yesterday night was around 14 to 20 minutes later , cause of the jam and i left school late and also board the bus late . ( for some reason , the bus don't wanna come ? Nobody's to blame for it .) I was already very very tired after i reached home , and just nice heaven's not on my side , my phone run out of battery . Mom called like 3 times , and she thought i didn't wanna answer her phone cause i find her annoying . For goodness sake , if she were to understand me well enough , since the first time i got my phone when i was in primary 5 or 6 , i never attempt to hang off anyone's phone unless i hate that person . And i see my mom everyday , its normal for her to stalk me every single minute , cause i know she worries about me . Like scared i get lost in Woodlands alone -.- Firstly , i understand the feeling of when i badly / urgently need to get someone , and that someone doesn't answer the phone , i'll get damn frustrated and annoyed or maybe anxious whatever blah . Depending on who the someone is . So since i know the feeling and i don't like the feeling , i won't do that to others . Besides its my mom . I know she cares , but the way she cares can be annoying , but at least she still does . Back to the point , after i reached home , i immediately explain the whole drama to her , cause i know if i don't , i'll probably forget about sleeping , cause her nagging kills . Guess what i got back from her . She wants to know when the guard locks the gate , what time i'm dismissed . I asked her :" i just explained everything to you . What is this ? You can go ahead and ask whoever teacher that is , but i wanna know why don't you trust me . " She went round the big circle 100 times , telling me that its not that she doesn't trust me . What ? I'm not 5 , even a 5 does know that that's a stupid lie . I'm just very disappointed that i've been explaining to her that competition's in a few days time , and i haven't get my routine yet , so i'm staying back to make sure i do it well , she seemed like as though she got it , but inside her head , what going on is that she's suspecting that SuHui runs off to town instead of staying in school . Hello ? If i do that one time does it mean that i'll do that for the rest of my life in st margs ? If the same theory were to stay in her head til i graduate , i really will be upset and i promised , i will leave home . Whereever i can stay but home . Please , by the time i graduate how old am i ? 17 . And i've a mother that chases me where ever i go . I can't stand it . When i was explaining things to her , i was so upset that she didn't get it , i cried . I didn't do anything wrong , not only do i deserve a scolding from her , i don't deserve her slightest bit of trust . When i lie , she doesn't trust me , when i don't , she doesn't trust me . What the hell she wants from me then ? Nowadays cause of stupid stuffs that happened at home , i began to trust and rely on my mom more . Rely as in sharing stuffs . Cause she's the only one that i can talk to at home for now . 2nd bro's at army , 1st bro's Nus (MIA IN HOSTEL) , and don't expect me to talk to dad , cause i'm not on good terms with him , and even if i am , i won't for some reason . Thinking about sharing stuffs with friends , not all of them understand , so most of the time i don't see a point in it . I don't tell people stuff to attract attention to make sure the whole world knows what happen , but because i'm kinda don't know what to do . If i don't tell , they'll get worry cause they feel that i'm keeping things inside , if i tell , and when they can't help , they'll feel worse . Not sure if i'm vexed . |
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