Haven't been posting for quite some time . Shall post about today's competition and how much i screwed up . Got up early the morning , was really tired cause i train like mad the day before , because i wasn't confident with my ribbon routine . Today i kinda expected the result for that routine , but i didn't expect myself to forget the routine at the more important parts . Hoop routine was fine , 5.48 was bad enough but i passed though -.- after hoop routine is when i became very tensed , because next was ribbon . As i was practicing at the side , i did fine . That big throw was fine , i could still caught it . When it comes to the real thing , i screwed that throw , never mind . My ribbon has this little knot at the end , i didn't know , until i finished my screwed routine . In fact i didn't even complete my routine cause i miss out the whole lot of moves that costs a lot of marks . The judges put their pens down and stared , and gave me a "hmm ? forget what's next ? " kinda face . I mean like i only started ribbon a few days ago seriously . I didn't put in hope in it , cause i know i will screw it , i learn that routine the last . What's more , we don't really have a proper coach , we're like all by ourselves , wwls just sucks , she doesn't even bother about us . I've no idea what's she's busy with , but i'd rather she not come , cause it simply proves that without her we'll still do great , though i didn't really today but will fine after cooling down a while after screwing that routine . Promised Adeline not to screw up tomorrow , cause clubs is my strength . Although its a dangerous equipment , i think i'll do better in that than hoop . I don't know , no guts to think further about it , i only know i'm left with 12 hours to my clubs routine . Which is not a lot minus the time that i take to sleep . ( i'm the only pig that needs to hibernate in case you didn't know . ) That minute still flashes in my head . When i forget , it feels damn scary , cause you've 10 pairs of fishballs staring at you , while you tried to think , and the stupid music is going really fast that it makes you feel as though its ending now and that you haven't finish your routine . Adeline did great today , though she didn't catch her big throws for rope , she has improved . And she never deproves . NEVER . 12 more hours to death . shall go shower and wait for my heart to stop .

Labels: as you always wanted the best in me ., I've let you down

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