Another tiring day . School seemed to last really long today , though its ends at 1.30 . Went to Macs for lunch before gym , a usual place that we'll chill out before going home and back to school . Soon it was 3.30 and time for me to head back to school to work like some mad bull . Lao shi really don't like me today , its fine , used to it . Well , basically , my phone died on me , got keypad light no screen . Old already , used for 1 year plus . Shan't talk about that .

Trust .
Simple and easy to understand , but hard to earn for me .
All because i love lying when i was in Primary school , i know its kinda lame but don't expect much from me in primary school , cause the difference compared to now is freaking huge . I hardly get outings , so i treasure each and everyone of them . And if you were to ask me why i hardly get outings , i don't fully blame my mom on that , i know myself that i've to buck up on my studies , especially when my results are this shity . I don't get it why she doesn't trust me when i'm already 15 . I know its not very old , but i believe at 15 , its old enough for a parent to trust their kids . My mom just don't , my fate lah , be that way . Guess what . She doesn't trust me for the big things , maybe i'll understand , perhaps its not old enough for her , but i was really really upset and disappointed that she doesn't trust me for the tiniest things . I came back from school rather late cause of gym on yesterday night . And i've always been late just that yesterday night was around 14 to 20 minutes later , cause of the jam and i left school late and also board the bus late . ( for some reason , the bus don't wanna come ? Nobody's to blame for it .) I was already very very tired after i reached home , and just nice heaven's not on my side , my phone run out of battery . Mom called like 3 times , and she thought i didn't wanna answer her phone cause i find her annoying . For goodness sake , if she were to understand me well enough , since the first time i got my phone when i was in primary 5 or 6 , i never attempt to hang off anyone's phone unless i hate that person . And i see my mom everyday , its normal for her to stalk me every single minute , cause i know she worries about me . Like scared i get lost in Woodlands alone -.- Firstly , i understand the feeling of when i badly / urgently need to get someone , and that someone doesn't answer the phone , i'll get damn frustrated and annoyed or maybe anxious whatever blah . Depending on who the someone is . So since i know the feeling and i don't like the feeling , i won't do that to others . Besides its my mom . I know she cares , but the way she cares can be annoying , but at least she still does . Back to the point , after i reached home , i immediately explain the whole drama to her , cause i know if i don't , i'll probably forget about sleeping , cause her nagging kills . Guess what i got back from her . She wants to know when the guard locks the gate , what time i'm dismissed . I asked her :" i just explained everything to you . What is this ? You can go ahead and ask whoever teacher that is , but i wanna know why don't you trust me . " She went round the big circle 100 times , telling me that its not that she doesn't trust me . What ? I'm not 5 , even a 5 does know that that's a stupid lie . I'm just very disappointed that i've been explaining to her that competition's in a few days time , and i haven't get my routine yet , so i'm staying back to make sure i do it well , she seemed like as though she got it , but inside her head , what going on is that she's suspecting that SuHui runs off to town instead of staying in school . Hello ? If i do that one time does it mean that i'll do that for the rest of my life in st margs ? If the same theory were to stay in her head til i graduate , i really will be upset and i promised , i will leave home . Whereever i can stay but home . Please , by the time i graduate how old am i ? 17 . And i've a mother that chases me where ever i go . I can't stand it . When i was explaining things to her , i was so upset that she didn't get it , i cried . I didn't do anything wrong , not only do i deserve a scolding from her , i don't deserve her slightest bit of trust . When i lie , she doesn't trust me , when i don't , she doesn't trust me . What the hell she wants from me then ? Nowadays cause of stupid stuffs that happened at home , i began to trust and rely on my mom more . Rely as in sharing stuffs . Cause she's the only one that i can talk to at home for now . 2nd bro's at army , 1st bro's Nus (MIA IN HOSTEL) , and don't expect me to talk to dad , cause i'm not on good terms with him , and even if i am , i won't for some reason . Thinking about sharing stuffs with friends , not all of them understand , so most of the time i don't see a point in it . I don't tell people stuff to attract attention to make sure the whole world knows what happen , but because i'm kinda don't know what to do . If i don't tell , they'll get worry cause they feel that i'm keeping things inside , if i tell , and when they can't help , they'll feel worse .

Not sure if i'm vexed .

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