Okay for some reason , things just don't feel right for me today . Shall just talk about today first . Bro came back from field camp , and then today early the morning , he called up this restaurant to book places for buffet . Crawl to Suntec by lunch time , food wasn't exactly very awesome , though i've always love Japanese food . Remembering how much i used to eat when it comes to Japanese Buffet , today was just not the amount that i used to eat . Its like i've no appetite to eat anything , but i'm trying to just eat whatever i can , so that i don't spoil the mood . Looking at how bro eats , i can tell that he didn't eat well during field camp . What i heard was that he've to survive on 3 packs ration for whole day , and judging his huge appetite , i think if you were to give him 6 its still not enough . He ate like he haven't been eating for years . Either you see him sitting down shoving a plateful down his throat , or he'll be taking his food , and everytime he comes back , his plate will be filled . And if you were to ask me how many times he went to and fro , i don't know and i don't wanna know , cause estimating the amount he eats is really scary . Went gran's house after buffet , some every sunday thing . Though its raining , i didn't really feel very comfortable , i was just really tired , and everytime i tried to sleep , i'll just wake up . Nobody disturbed me , though everytime there'll be cause of the 2 kiddos , but this time , i woke up automatically . Which is so not me , cause i myself know that as long as i get to sleep when i'm feeling really tired , its like trying to wake someone up when they're in coma . I need to hibernate at least 10 hours a day and i've no idea why . But when fun comes , i can totally forgo sleep . But this time i was just feeling very tired , but i can't sleep no matter how hard i tried . Soon its dinner time , and the average food tasted like shit to me . The spaghetti tasted like vomit . What's wrong with me today ? It just doesn't feel the way it is supposed to be . I thought its just me , and i really hope that . Tomorrow is another killer , cause i've POA lesson early the morning , and training from 12 to 6 . I can might as well camp at school and try to make school my home , but obviously i won't , cause school sucks these few days , though its march holidays . Thinking about the homework , my results , the heavy trainings , POA lessons though its just 2 days , family matters , bro being unwell , school problems ( small thing big thing whatever ) , blah . Sometimes i really wished that someone can just whack my head hard enough to make sure i don't wake up again until all the problems are solved ? But i can't say break can i ? I never had good sleep ever since i entered st margs . Whether i sleep at 8 and wake up at 5 , i feel as dead as i sleep at 4.59 and wake up at 5 . No difference .

Why do i look forward to something , but when that something finally comes after looking forward for it for 2 months , thinking through again , i realised i actually don't really look forward to it ?

Labels: What's happening? Feeling wrong .

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