title: Cousin's house sleepover Went over to cousin's house after dinner yesterday . Had a tiff with dad , which is a everytime thing . Set off to cousin's house . Went to sleep soon enough . Sometimes i've been thinking , why must there even have family matters ? What happens when parents quarrel ? The kids just sit there and not say a word ? How long would the quarrel last ? I thought it'll never end . Mom's off to Malacca for a day with her friends , 1st bro's at NUS hostel , 2nd bro's at the army . Dad's at home . Home is a place that you'll feel safe , but i don't . My dad's got a unique character that i don't think any dad has . I probably shouldn't be sharing such things up here , cause its rather personal , but i thought it doesn't matter any more . I used to not treasure my siblings being at home with me , but now i do . Because it feels as though some big part of you is missing when they're not home when you are . Mom has became a huge part of my life since i was born , though she can be really really annoying and irritating , she's still my mom , and i gotta respect her . She brought me up , taught me how to be a better person in life , taught me values , explain things to me whenever it doesn't work out , tried talking to me whenever she saw me troubled . But as many people know , when it reaches my age , parents just don't understand . Sometimes i thought it's not that parents don't understand , they do in fact , cause they been through our age . Its just that we have a mindset of our own that parents didn't go through the 'now' life of ours at that point of time . She loves to nag , all because i'm her daughter . If i were to think through , she's not mad to go around and nag at others . Now that such things happened in my family , what she taught me and my siblings is that we've to be united no matter what happens . "Jia He Wan Shi Xin" was what she said . And i thought she has a point there . Cause when such things happen , i realised that whatever i do , even the simplest things , i failed . An example is during gym training . A clubs throw that i've been training since the beginning of sec 2 til now , i can't even succeed in one . What's wrong ? No , nothing's wrong , my technique is correct , everything's fine . Just that i can't catch it . And everytime i throw it , it'll land on the floor with a loud bang instead of my hand . Thinking about school's reopening , i didn't look forward to school , neither do i look forward to go home , cause i felt damn alone and damn scared there . Not exactly scared , but more of a not safe there . My dad and i alone at home . And i'm not in good terms with him . Nobody's gonna be home any later , cause mom will only be home real late , probably 3 am ? I don't know , and i dare not think about it . Sometimes i wished that i'm not my dad's daughter , cause living under the same roof with him's absolutely not a good thing . Its like under fear everyday . I looked forward to weekends now , firstly is that its a small break from daily boring and torturous school routines , secondly is that they're more people at home , other than me and mom alone . Thinking about going home later just haunts me . So what do i do now ? Sit and pray that things get better ? Then i'll hope so .
Eh backsidesssss i'm suffering at home in case you two didn't know , come home please , for my sake , owe you two a big one .. |
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