SuHui

2010-08-28T05:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really wished that we're really still as close as before deep inside , and not just a label . But I've tried my best , and you don't seemed to bother .

2010-08-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

Dorothy's not in school today , she's sick , so my usual friday meeting after school with her is canceled . Saw Kris and Grace quek , they were talking about teacher's day . Might be doing , all lies in Mr Ang . -.- Cause if da jie's not doing , i won't be doing too , cause i don't wanna be the only person flying across the stage doing jumps . Went to West Coast plaza with Kris to get her teacher's day outfit . Saw a checkered top , damn nice , obviously its mine . (: We were both broke , so went to provence to have "lunch" . Milk pan awesomeness :D Straight bus home . Did a bit of school work and watch the swimming . As usual , singapore lost -.-
I can't wait for tomorrow's YOG , though its artistic . (: Meeting Sab tomorrow for show :D YAY CAN'T WAIT .
Hmmm , unriddling :D

2010-08-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

Shall revive this dead (:
Haven't blog for real long , last post and last tag was like before mid years ? And Hafiz especially wants to read this so yeah (:
Life's been fine these few months , ever since after mid years i realised i've been mugging a lot more than before , which is surprising . Time flies , finals are coming , again . Kinda worried for my subjects , cause i don't wanna be a let down again ? Or in another words , a screwed up daughter .
Mom've been nice , wasn't as controling as before , bro's mugging for exams too . Basically everyone's busying with whatever they're suppose to do and we haven't really spend much time together as a family to bond . Mom bought me new headphones as my birthday present without me really asking for it , i was quite surprised , though she've been nagging at me whole time that i don't take good care of my things and treating everything for granted . I knew she've meant well so it doesn't really matter . Had a talk with mom , everything went well , she began to be more understanding and i'm quite about it . Now she works , so we hardly spend time together even though it might be weekends .
Apart from family , its school . I'm glad that everyone (Vans , Sperm , Bev , Li min , Fion .) tried staying together despite us being in different classes , 3 each . Though i still missed 28th may 2010 , 5.47pm at esplanade , but i gotta learn that that's the past , and it won't be back . We could only make it happen again , but the exact same things won't happen again .
I missed Vans , for she's the one who brought all of us together , and when there're conflicts going on , she've been trying to hold us all tight so that we won't split . She often made a fool of herself just to make all of us laugh at her to make us happy . She isn't calculative , and she forgives but doesn't forget easily . She can be full of vulgarities , but overally still nice and sweet . On my side , though most of the time i could be quite mean to her , she's still the reason why everything's everything . I love the photo that she printed for me in the polka doted envelope . And i'll never forget it (: Thanks Vans , for forgiving me for all my nonsense at the earlier part of the year , and accepting me as a close friend , i love you (: I'm here always , if you need me , and don't need to worry that you haven't include me everytime , i'm fine , as long as you are (:
I missed Li Min , for she's the only one that could tolerate me for the whole half year . I've no idea how , but she's just able to do it . Though i'm thankful that we weren't quarreling anymore , i still miss her retardedness at class , singing "baby" with hiccups . I still kept the bottle thingy that she gave me during the beginning of the year , and it has always been in my pencilcase . I've absolutely no plans on placing it anywhere else cause i won't bother about it . She's also one of the two , who walked together with me through sec 1 , 2 , and 3 . Though we weren't in the same class anymore , i still miss the little things we did together . And of course , i looked forward to have outings together again . Thanks Li min , a lot . I love you , am here always . (: Good luck for finals .
I missed Bev , for she's our portable MP3 player in class when lessons get boring . Taylor swift and owl city . She's a heavy sleeper , and it can get so bad that if you were to scream into her ear she could still be asleep . I've no idea how the heck she can be so dead , but i know she's like me (: She's called Bev for a reason :D HAHA , i couldn't help but to laugh at her everytime i see her . She's got a cute face , especially with that bangs . Baby fingers and Baby feet :D She didn't judge me when she knew me at first , but instead during the beginning of the year i could tell she was trying to know me better by :" eh suhui i no partner leh! for camp how! must partner huh! must huh! ' HAHA i was like huh okay okay . She've got low self esteem , and most of the time , we had to help her with it (: But now i'm kinda sad that we weren't as close as before , though now sometimes she still sits together with us . Thanks Bev , for all the encouragement you gave me during my competition , and all the comfort , yeah you know what (: I'm here always , and you don't needa worry if i'm fine k (: re read what i wrote you in the letter (: I love you .

I MISSED THE 3 OF YOU , LIKE HELL LOT .

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Adeline chua : i've a lootttt to catch up with you that its too much for me to say it here , including a routine .

----------------------------

Met a friend , he's nice , he's really encouraging .
He's really fun to be with , and he doesn't judge me .
His favourite hobby was to disturb me that i can't find the exit .
He's an awesome friend (:

Alright gotta rush all my work ! GOOD LUCK BABIES FOR FINALLSSSSSSS ! ~

2010-04-30T08:12:00.001-07:00

Should i let my blog rot and die ?

2010-04-24T05:25:00.000-07:00

GREAT JOB ALL GYMNASTS ! (:

Soon it was over . My clubs routine was fine , better than any routine i did , as expected . Though i felt that i did fine i only got 6.30 . And thinking about it , if i were to get my spin to be one round , caught my small pao , didn't hit my arm while swinging the clubs after ban tui , kong tui for long enough , i'd probably hit 8 -.- That's for clubs . Hoop , though its the easiest routine , i didn't do as well , but managed to pass at least . Thinking back on competition day when it was just a few minutes before my turn for my clubs routine , i saw DJT crying . I saw Esther crying . I saw Nat crying . I saw XJT giving upset faces . I looked at lao shi , though she didn't really show , but i could tell she was disappointed . And i asked Jayna why , because we're all so screwed . I was the last to compete , among my 3 other teammates . Cassia did fine , at least she didn't drop . She managed to pass . Sabrina and Melissa dropped . I was at the side practicing and i glanced over once in a while during their routines . Cassia got the ah crap must do well look . Sabrina injured some bone in the thigh , i really did pray hard for her . Melissa was nervous , i could tell . I was mumbling "jiayou" all the while . It was only after they compete when i see everyone tearing . And i look at the end of the mat , 1 more gymnast to go , and its my turn . I realised i had to do well , cause i'm the last to compete , and whether the B div compuls' marks increase or decrease depends on me . Yes i was nervous , but i thought i don't have any other choice but to do well . I did try my best i know , i hang in there as long as i could , even though i'm already half dead after ban tui . I was sucking oxygen through my nose , mouth , skin and every part of my body i know , so as to fill my lungs every now and then . I caught the 1st pao , but drop the 2nd , i gave mdm wang li a sorry look , and i can totally imagine the facial expression changes of DJT , XJT and the rest . Which is what made me push on , and i know i can't screw any other parts . After my routine i was rather contented , as i waited for the result . Gymnast 29 : 6.30 . OKAY LAH , was what i thought . Oh well , its all over . (: Now its the time to really concentrate on my studies and make sure i do well for my midyears .

SU HUI , YOU ARE SO SO SO SCREWED . THAT IS .

2010-04-22T05:36:00.000-07:00

Haven't been posting for quite some time . Shall post about today's competition and how much i screwed up . Got up early the morning , was really tired cause i train like mad the day before , because i wasn't confident with my ribbon routine . Today i kinda expected the result for that routine , but i didn't expect myself to forget the routine at the more important parts . Hoop routine was fine , 5.48 was bad enough but i passed though -.- after hoop routine is when i became very tensed , because next was ribbon . As i was practicing at the side , i did fine . That big throw was fine , i could still caught it . When it comes to the real thing , i screwed that throw , never mind . My ribbon has this little knot at the end , i didn't know , until i finished my screwed routine . In fact i didn't even complete my routine cause i miss out the whole lot of moves that costs a lot of marks . The judges put their pens down and stared , and gave me a "hmm ? forget what's next ? " kinda face . I mean like i only started ribbon a few days ago seriously . I didn't put in hope in it , cause i know i will screw it , i learn that routine the last . What's more , we don't really have a proper coach , we're like all by ourselves , wwls just sucks , she doesn't even bother about us . I've no idea what's she's busy with , but i'd rather she not come , cause it simply proves that without her we'll still do great , though i didn't really today but will fine after cooling down a while after screwing that routine . Promised Adeline not to screw up tomorrow , cause clubs is my strength . Although its a dangerous equipment , i think i'll do better in that than hoop . I don't know , no guts to think further about it , i only know i'm left with 12 hours to my clubs routine . Which is not a lot minus the time that i take to sleep . ( i'm the only pig that needs to hibernate in case you didn't know . ) That minute still flashes in my head . When i forget , it feels damn scary , cause you've 10 pairs of fishballs staring at you , while you tried to think , and the stupid music is going really fast that it makes you feel as though its ending now and that you haven't finish your routine . Adeline did great today , though she didn't catch her big throws for rope , she has improved . And she never deproves . NEVER . 12 more hours to death . shall go shower and wait for my heart to stop .

2010-04-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ER GE !!!!!!!

Whoa , someone finally hit 20 eh ? Next year will be the real legal age for you . Its been great hearing that you got into OCS after coming home from school yesterday . "eh , er ge got into OCS . " Was what i got from you . ( It was a fullstop , not exclaimation mark is what i had realised . ) But you weren't exactly happy about it cause you've to study still for your As . And what i heard from you is that OCS is some place that people are being treated really badly and many of them ended up quiting before even completing the whole thing . Dad promised to give you tution fee , but try to stay in it if you can , if not you know dad , he'll hit the roof . I was really upset that on 5th feb , its your turn to go to the army , but i'm sort of getting used to you not being around . I realised that its still the same (: I thought it would turn out to be like 1st bro , but it didn't , we treasured time together . And i'll be like annoucing to the whole family early the morning : " ER GE HUI LAI LE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " when the door open with a smell of mud and stinky clothes and heavy footsteps from boots . I woke up early the morning for piano today , and head to the kitchen for breakfast . What i saw was 2 big and tall candles on top of the cake in the fridge . It must be mom , who always get things ready .

" What do you want for birthday present ? "

" Nothing , just study hard and don't end up like me ."

" Bro , i failed my POA test badly again ."

" Its alright . Get up and continue moving . When you were young , you were a smart ass . And i don't think you've grown stupi-er as you grow . If you're hungry enough to score better , you will . "

When your SAT was getting nearer , you still squeeze in time for me to meet you at KAP to study with you . I'm just blessed with such a caring brother .

Thanks bro , happy birthday .

Trust.

2010-04-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Another tiring day . School seemed to last really long today , though its ends at 1.30 . Went to Macs for lunch before gym , a usual place that we'll chill out before going home and back to school . Soon it was 3.30 and time for me to head back to school to work like some mad bull . Lao shi really don't like me today , its fine , used to it . Well , basically , my phone died on me , got keypad light no screen . Old already , used for 1 year plus . Shan't talk about that .

Trust .
Simple and easy to understand , but hard to earn for me .
All because i love lying when i was in Primary school , i know its kinda lame but don't expect much from me in primary school , cause the difference compared to now is freaking huge . I hardly get outings , so i treasure each and everyone of them . And if you were to ask me why i hardly get outings , i don't fully blame my mom on that , i know myself that i've to buck up on my studies , especially when my results are this shity . I don't get it why she doesn't trust me when i'm already 15 . I know its not very old , but i believe at 15 , its old enough for a parent to trust their kids . My mom just don't , my fate lah , be that way . Guess what . She doesn't trust me for the big things , maybe i'll understand , perhaps its not old enough for her , but i was really really upset and disappointed that she doesn't trust me for the tiniest things . I came back from school rather late cause of gym on yesterday night . And i've always been late just that yesterday night was around 14 to 20 minutes later , cause of the jam and i left school late and also board the bus late . ( for some reason , the bus don't wanna come ? Nobody's to blame for it .) I was already very very tired after i reached home , and just nice heaven's not on my side , my phone run out of battery . Mom called like 3 times , and she thought i didn't wanna answer her phone cause i find her annoying . For goodness sake , if she were to understand me well enough , since the first time i got my phone when i was in primary 5 or 6 , i never attempt to hang off anyone's phone unless i hate that person . And i see my mom everyday , its normal for her to stalk me every single minute , cause i know she worries about me . Like scared i get lost in Woodlands alone -.- Firstly , i understand the feeling of when i badly / urgently need to get someone , and that someone doesn't answer the phone , i'll get damn frustrated and annoyed or maybe anxious whatever blah . Depending on who the someone is . So since i know the feeling and i don't like the feeling , i won't do that to others . Besides its my mom . I know she cares , but the way she cares can be annoying , but at least she still does . Back to the point , after i reached home , i immediately explain the whole drama to her , cause i know if i don't , i'll probably forget about sleeping , cause her nagging kills . Guess what i got back from her . She wants to know when the guard locks the gate , what time i'm dismissed . I asked her :" i just explained everything to you . What is this ? You can go ahead and ask whoever teacher that is , but i wanna know why don't you trust me . " She went round the big circle 100 times , telling me that its not that she doesn't trust me . What ? I'm not 5 , even a 5 does know that that's a stupid lie . I'm just very disappointed that i've been explaining to her that competition's in a few days time , and i haven't get my routine yet , so i'm staying back to make sure i do it well , she seemed like as though she got it , but inside her head , what going on is that she's suspecting that SuHui runs off to town instead of staying in school . Hello ? If i do that one time does it mean that i'll do that for the rest of my life in st margs ? If the same theory were to stay in her head til i graduate , i really will be upset and i promised , i will leave home . Whereever i can stay but home . Please , by the time i graduate how old am i ? 17 . And i've a mother that chases me where ever i go . I can't stand it . When i was explaining things to her , i was so upset that she didn't get it , i cried . I didn't do anything wrong , not only do i deserve a scolding from her , i don't deserve her slightest bit of trust . When i lie , she doesn't trust me , when i don't , she doesn't trust me . What the hell she wants from me then ? Nowadays cause of stupid stuffs that happened at home , i began to trust and rely on my mom more . Rely as in sharing stuffs . Cause she's the only one that i can talk to at home for now . 2nd bro's at army , 1st bro's Nus (MIA IN HOSTEL) , and don't expect me to talk to dad , cause i'm not on good terms with him , and even if i am , i won't for some reason . Thinking about sharing stuffs with friends , not all of them understand , so most of the time i don't see a point in it . I don't tell people stuff to attract attention to make sure the whole world knows what happen , but because i'm kinda don't know what to do . If i don't tell , they'll get worry cause they feel that i'm keeping things inside , if i tell , and when they can't help , they'll feel worse .

Not sure if i'm vexed .

SU HUI'S EYE IS SWOLLEN AND BLOOD RED !

2010-03-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

MY RIGHT EYE IS BLOOD RED .

Okay great . My right eye has been like that since 2 days ago . Wait , no , 3 days . It doesn't hurt , neither is it itchy . I wouldn't even know its red if nobody were to tell me that . Felt damn blind today without contacts , so depended on Shermaine to survive for the day . Worse still , there's chem test today , and my face was 5 cm away from the paper . Yes my eyesight's that bad -.- Hmmm , if it doesn't get any better , shall wear specs tomorrow in case i get myself blind forever in one eye . Everyone that walked pass me today was like :" omg su hui what happened ! " I got that from Chelsea , Angelina , Shermaine , Li min , Vans , Beverly , Shanice , Kalisha , Gloria , Jillyn , Rachel , Deena , Serene , Chinese girl ( laura ) , Dorothy , Aisyah , Syahdina , Kimberley Claire , Gloria Sun , Gina , blah .
Grr , Shanice even say it looks like fishballs that're bleeding . HAHA . POA TEST TOMORROW ! Luckily studied for it already . Hmm chem test after all was managable . Though i didn't really study for it ? 4 tests in a week . Sec 3 only .
Good luck Su Hui for the rest of her st margs life .

Esther : Ah see ? Get into trouble lah . Eh , if you were to skip home econs then not so bad lah , not core subjects . Sec 2 really depends what're you gonna study for the rest of your sec school life , so if you don't wanna get shity subjects combination , then must study lah . I know its a sad thing but still .. Getting into trouble is common , just that don't repeat the same mistakes again , or maybe if you really cannot stand the lesson that you must skip , then its your problem lah , i mean as a senior i can only tell you to get smarter and think of ways not to get caught ? HAHA , love you , jiayou for gym (:
Goldish loves Esther .

2010-03-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

Omg i swear today was an awesome friday . Nat chan never come , so we spent time to take pictures using May Si's photos (: Out with Dorothy and Jillyn for lunch after school today . Haven't been out with them for forever -.- Thanks Dory and Jillyn for hearing me out today , for the heart to heart talk . Tomorrow is ,

MASSIVE POA DRILLING DAY .

2010-03-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Sort of skipped gym today to go to macs to study POA with Adeline . I swear she really had trouble teaching me cause i don't seemed to get a thing again . Got really really fed up with it . I just threw the wrong answer at the wall . -.-

ADELINE : Eh , i can totally feel that i'm wasting your time can . You're suppose to study Bio while i dragged you to teach me and you're like losing your patience just that you don't want me to feel bad so you don't get angry . But really , thanks for teaching me , though i've no guarantees that i won't screw up again for the next test on monday .

Cousin's house sleepover

2010-03-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

Went over to cousin's house after dinner yesterday . Had a tiff with dad , which is a everytime thing . Set off to cousin's house . Went to sleep soon enough . Sometimes i've been thinking , why must there even have family matters ? What happens when parents quarrel ? The kids just sit there and not say a word ? How long would the quarrel last ? I thought it'll never end . Mom's off to Malacca for a day with her friends , 1st bro's at NUS hostel , 2nd bro's at the army . Dad's at home . Home is a place that you'll feel safe , but i don't . My dad's got a unique character that i don't think any dad has . I probably shouldn't be sharing such things up here , cause its rather personal , but i thought it doesn't matter any more . I used to not treasure my siblings being at home with me , but now i do . Because it feels as though some big part of you is missing when they're not home when you are . Mom has became a huge part of my life since i was born , though she can be really really annoying and irritating , she's still my mom , and i gotta respect her . She brought me up , taught me how to be a better person in life , taught me values , explain things to me whenever it doesn't work out , tried talking to me whenever she saw me troubled . But as many people know , when it reaches my age , parents just don't understand . Sometimes i thought it's not that parents don't understand , they do in fact , cause they been through our age . Its just that we have a mindset of our own that parents didn't go through the 'now' life of ours at that point of time . She loves to nag , all because i'm her daughter . If i were to think through , she's not mad to go around and nag at others . Now that such things happened in my family , what she taught me and my siblings is that we've to be united no matter what happens . "Jia He Wan Shi Xin" was what she said . And i thought she has a point there . Cause when such things happen , i realised that whatever i do , even the simplest things , i failed . An example is during gym training . A clubs throw that i've been training since the beginning of sec 2 til now , i can't even succeed in one . What's wrong ? No , nothing's wrong , my technique is correct , everything's fine . Just that i can't catch it . And everytime i throw it , it'll land on the floor with a loud bang instead of my hand . Thinking about school's reopening , i didn't look forward to school , neither do i look forward to go home , cause i felt damn alone and damn scared there . Not exactly scared , but more of a not safe there . My dad and i alone at home . And i'm not in good terms with him . Nobody's gonna be home any later , cause mom will only be home real late , probably 3 am ? I don't know , and i dare not think about it . Sometimes i wished that i'm not my dad's daughter , cause living under the same roof with him's absolutely not a good thing . Its like under fear everyday . I looked forward to weekends now , firstly is that its a small break from daily boring and torturous school routines , secondly is that they're more people at home , other than me and mom alone . Thinking about going home later just haunts me . So what do i do now ? Sit and pray that things get better ? Then i'll hope so .

Eh backsidesssss i'm suffering at home in case you two didn't know , come home please , for my sake , owe you two a big one ..

Gym , that is .

2010-03-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

BRUISE ON MY RIGHT SHOULDER BONE :(

Family matters .

2010-03-18T03:58:00.000-07:00

Okay i swear i didn't had a good day after yesterday night . Family matters isn't a good thing , and it affects whatever i do . I don't seemed to be doing well for the simplest of the simplest things in gym today during training . And i gave everyone that faces me a black face , and when they talked to me nicely , i walked away . It wasn't just family matters alone , but also some other problems in school . And adding them up is like a mouse carrying an elephant that is a gazillion times the weight . And when i'm feeling terrible , its like the whole world owes me a living . Yeah , problems affect me really easily , and i can't get anything done . That's a stupid thing about Su Hui . After reaching home from gym , practiced piano , and it sucks . I can't seemed to play a piece without mistakes . And i've been playing that piece for months already . Its like its rotting there . Tomorrow will be the last gym training , and i've to squeeze in my ribbon routine as soon as possible .

I'm sorry Cassia , Sabrina , Melissa for today .

Family matters taught me that changing one is very painful , why not change yourself ?

BOWLING ! :D

2010-03-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

Bowling day with people from 3/9 ! HAHA , it was damn fun . Shall describe the day . While i was gyming , received a message from Bella asking me if i wanna go bowling , so i thought i should go today and train more tomorrow . So i rushed home , and i seriously did , shower within 10 minutes ( goodness sake , that was damn fast for me , cause normally i take around 1/2 hour in the bathroom . ) , get changed up , and rushed to Marsiling station to train to Choa Chu Kang . Took 188 to some country club and i was damn scared that i'll get lost somewhere in singapore though i have my phone . -.- Oh well , after meeting Jillyn and Rachel , went in and met Gloria S. and Bella . Had cup noodles (: I swear Gloria was damn funny , and the way she held the ball before bowling was super dangerous , cause if she were to slip , people sitting behind at the seats will just die . And one of them is me . Thank God . HAHA , went Woodlands after that , had bubble tea , and then timezone :D Bella and i sat this stupid roller coaster thing that's not scary , but we ended up laughing , cause it made us giddy and there's this huge ball following us . HAHAHA , half way Bella answered her phone . That's random . Never mind . Let the pics do the talking :D

JILLYN : I know you're feeling terrible for some reason after speaking to your mom on the phone , but i just wanna let you know that us being in different class will not make a big difference , cause i'll still be there for you like how i've been during sec 2 life . You might not wanna tell me everything your mom said , i believed you would have somethings that you didn't wanna let me or us know , but i don't mind . I can tell that you did have fun today cause of the whole load of awesome buddies here together with you . Frankly speaking , meeting you backsides up really did cheer my boring and stress and tiring gym day up . I'm really really thankful for that . I may not be the best person to talk to , whatever i don't care , but you can totally depend on me and tell me anything . (: I wouldn't mind listening to all your crap , cause i believed that i've crappppeeeddd alot more than you do . So yeah , don't mind you shitting everything on me , i'll clear your ass up for you :D I love you , thanks for today . Sorry that i can't make it tomorrow . Have fun . :D This picture is save for you . Thank God its a fake gun . If not judging how many times i disturb you , i would have been dead like 10 years ago without knowing . HAHA .

I LOVE YOU.

CHEER UP.

CAUSE YOU KNOW YOUR SMILES ARE OUR SMILES .

will never forget today .

Gym training and POA lesson

2010-03-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Today was just terrible , had POA lesson early the morning which i'm almost late for but in the end i made it just on time . Lesson lasted for the whole of 4 freaking hours , i kept yawning , was freaking tired . After POA finally ended , Shermaine and i headed to macs . She received a call from her mom that her mom's already there , so she just left . Never mind , after buying mc flurry i head back to school to be an extra in Mrs Shum Social Studies' remedial . (: Frankly speaking , i did miss Mrs Shum , when we had all the fun in class disturbing her , laughing at whatever wrong pronoucation she made though it was lame . In fact i miss the whole of my sec 2 life . But just gotta move on to sec 3 and get heavier stress as we grow older . I swear SS lesson was a joke , we end up passing letters around , especially Jillyn the awesome buddy of mine . Somehow the paper balls just kept flying to and fro me . :D HAHAH , had a great time . But that only lasted in the morning . Gym was a complete different thing . I used to look forward to gym trainings though they're tough when i was in sec 1 and 2 . But i don't seemed to this year and i've totally no idea why . I'm not sure if i've lost interest in it or what , i don't care ? But i just don't feel as "home" as how i felt during sec 1 and 2 . Jin Hui left , was one big thing that i'm trying to get used to . There're still many other things , inside and outside school and gym . Talked to Adeline today about you , and what "advice" i got from her was to not talk to you again , but i kinda find it quite mean to do that , cause we've been close for quite a number of years and i don't wanna spoil the friendship that we've been spending time to build up throughout these many years . You might not know how i'm feeling right now , i don't intend to let you know any more things and neither am i gonna spoil the friendship , cause i can totally feel that you're looking down on me cause of whatever's happening and also , i believe God let us be together in the same class for 3 years for a reason . I don't like it , and i can assure you that if you were to push my limit any further , you can't blame me for not holding my words . I really can't stand it anymore , i always hope you would understand . I still love you .

Not feeling right .

2010-03-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

Okay for some reason , things just don't feel right for me today . Shall just talk about today first . Bro came back from field camp , and then today early the morning , he called up this restaurant to book places for buffet . Crawl to Suntec by lunch time , food wasn't exactly very awesome , though i've always love Japanese food . Remembering how much i used to eat when it comes to Japanese Buffet , today was just not the amount that i used to eat . Its like i've no appetite to eat anything , but i'm trying to just eat whatever i can , so that i don't spoil the mood . Looking at how bro eats , i can tell that he didn't eat well during field camp . What i heard was that he've to survive on 3 packs ration for whole day , and judging his huge appetite , i think if you were to give him 6 its still not enough . He ate like he haven't been eating for years . Either you see him sitting down shoving a plateful down his throat , or he'll be taking his food , and everytime he comes back , his plate will be filled . And if you were to ask me how many times he went to and fro , i don't know and i don't wanna know , cause estimating the amount he eats is really scary . Went gran's house after buffet , some every sunday thing . Though its raining , i didn't really feel very comfortable , i was just really tired , and everytime i tried to sleep , i'll just wake up . Nobody disturbed me , though everytime there'll be cause of the 2 kiddos , but this time , i woke up automatically . Which is so not me , cause i myself know that as long as i get to sleep when i'm feeling really tired , its like trying to wake someone up when they're in coma . I need to hibernate at least 10 hours a day and i've no idea why . But when fun comes , i can totally forgo sleep . But this time i was just feeling very tired , but i can't sleep no matter how hard i tried . Soon its dinner time , and the average food tasted like shit to me . The spaghetti tasted like vomit . What's wrong with me today ? It just doesn't feel the way it is supposed to be . I thought its just me , and i really hope that . Tomorrow is another killer , cause i've POA lesson early the morning , and training from 12 to 6 . I can might as well camp at school and try to make school my home , but obviously i won't , cause school sucks these few days , though its march holidays . Thinking about the homework , my results , the heavy trainings , POA lessons though its just 2 days , family matters , bro being unwell , school problems ( small thing big thing whatever ) , blah . Sometimes i really wished that someone can just whack my head hard enough to make sure i don't wake up again until all the problems are solved ? But i can't say break can i ? I never had good sleep ever since i entered st margs . Whether i sleep at 8 and wake up at 5 , i feel as dead as i sleep at 4.59 and wake up at 5 . No difference .

Why do i look forward to something , but when that something finally comes after looking forward for it for 2 months , thinking through again , i realised i actually don't really look forward to it ?

MARCH HOLIDAYS ARE HERE YAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-12T19:46:00.000-08:00

Okay haven't been blogging for quite long , shall resume blogging though its quite sian . Its march holidays , but my results just spoil my mood . Never mind , shan't talk about that . Piano sucks today , cause i wasn't doing well i know . HEE , feeling damn excited for all the outings . Guess what . Training from monday to friday . Obviously i'm gonna skip some days right -.- Not mentioning about outings , i think just homework alone is enough to kill . Chemistry , maths , chinese , English . -.- You call this a holiday ? I think my ipod died on me . Hmm shall blog about MINI YOG DAY then . Took pictures , was awesome though quite expensive ? I swear me and Shermaine screamed til our throats sore . "GO TOLLEY!" and Shermaine blew the whistle til its filled with her saliva . Damn gross .

2/7's still as awesome .

A day at macs! 080310

FUNERAL PICTURE OF BELLA (:

Eh backside , cheer up .

2010-03-05T19:41:00.000-08:00

Time flies , its the weekends again . For the past 10 weeks or so . Life's been fine , quite a daily routine , of course there're ups and downs , but its just the way i handle things . We've one more week to March holidays is what i'm really happy and excited about , but i've one more thing to think about also . The A level results were out , and immediately i got the message after bro came home not even looking at me , left a piece of paper on the sideboard , and headed straight into his room and then shut the door . I saw the result slip and i didn't shoot him any more questions . I know he did work hard , from what i see . He sits at home like some buddha everytime when exams come , and whatsmore this time its As . I felt quite bad , cause i can't do anything to help him , not even comfort him , cause i'm youngest ! What do you expect your 5 year old sibling to tell you when you screw up for your tests/exams ? It works the same way . -.- Was supposed to go out for dinner and movie yesterday together with mom and bro , but we didn't in the end , cause it wouldn't be nice when he's having such a bad mood while we try to be some asshole and have fun . So i stayed home to study for the upcoming POA test on monday . Hope that i can score better this time . Hmm , might be staying home whole day , depends on whether bro has the mood to go out to eat later . Shall end here .

I . LEFT . MY . IPOD . IN . SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-03T04:53:00.000-08:00

Hmm just got new playlist for the blog . (: No noisy music this time , the happy happy music (: HEEEHEEEE . Oh well , today's POA wasn't as bad as i thought , monday we've test , not a good thing . Mom's been nice to me these few days , so life's not bad . Went up to 3/7 before assembly today , Gina passed me a letter and Gloria struggled with her A maths graded assignment . I swear i would struggle a lot also if i were to take a maths cause i can totally not understand a single thing . There's this with this letter B that has a tail that sticks out like cursive . Geez never mind . Guess what , i intended to bring back Gina's story book to read today , but i left it in school TOGETHER WITH MY IPOD !!!!!!!!!! And those that know me knows that i'll die without my ipod on the bus . Imagine that , on the bus without any thing to entertain you for that hour ? NO FOR ME MAN . I'll keep whining and whining and complaining and grumbling . And no body can stand it so far . Even the most patient person on earth ? -.- Omg how am i gonna get to school tomorrow .. wish me luck .

2010-03-02T02:23:00.000-08:00

Okay blog's quite dead . Shall revive it . School was boring as usual , especially when there's no gym . Was glad that i scored well enough for maths test to earn an outing and i thought i'm gonna fail it , judging the way i do my questions and how the answers turned out . I dare not even expect myself to hit 20 , not say any higher . Today's bio test was managable , and all thanks to my english , i just let 3 marks go away like that -.- Never mind its over . Sort of settled some problems with Li Min , after all working quite well . Went home with Tao Pang after school , haven't been going home with her for very long already .. Anyways ..

JILLYN : Ah ha ! Must get well soon okay ? Its been a long time ever since we meet up to have fun . Hope to go out during march holidays but heard that you're already fully booked so .. never mind then (: will have some other chances :D Love love ! Get well soon! :D See ya around at school !

Eh backside , study hard ah , promise .

2010-02-21T04:07:00.000-08:00

Went to catch Percy Jackson and the stupid lightning theif . I swear the show sucks . Is like go go power rangers ! -.- I swear its worse than Harry Potter . Never mind about that . Guess what . I had my dinner at 4 , and i'm still bloated til now which is 8 . I guess i can survive throughout the night . Bro's booking in today , and his last words before he left home was :" eh backside , study hard ah . Promise . " PFFT . I am , since when am i not -.- only mom thinks i'm not , 'cause everytime when i'm having breaks , is the time that she sees me . And what was i doing during breaks ? Computer . So i'm forever not studying and facing the computer all day to her . Never mind . Guess what , bro bought me ear piece , and they cost a bomb . Omg , was really thankful . Watching Mission Impossible now . I regretted watching Percy Jackson , the movie at home was better -.-

2010-02-19T05:24:00.000-08:00

DINNER AT COUSIN'S HOUSE !

Went home immediately after a tiring day of school . I was really really tired today , comparing to the normal tired everydays i have , today's the worse . I fell asleep immediately i put my head on my table . And i swear Li Min didn't have a good day either , cause she has been really bored cause i'm sleeping with my eyes open and brain shut during lessons . She tried to talk to me , is either i open my eyes and didn't hear what she's saying , or i was sleeping and totally too tired to not ignore her . Felt really bad after she wrote a letter to me telling me about how she felt , its like she tried to talk to me but i didn't bother all because i'm too tired . Shermaine was sleepy too . I swear today was damn funny , we two were dozing off and our heads move downwards at exactly the same time . Ms Lee was being damn nice to not scold us about it . Went back home after school and got a phone call from mom that we're having dinner at cousin's house (: Great , went there after getting ready . Awesome food (: Guess that's about it .

Audrey Gan : POWDER GUN !!! :D HAHAH , just a little birthday note on you on my blog k ? I didn't expect to be in the same class as you for three years , and its gonna be throughout the whole of our seconday school life . You can be really annoying at times , but also at the same time nice lah , so not so bad still (: Thank God i got you beside me for POA lesson , if not i think mrs rethinam will just chew us all up . HAH , HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY and thanks for the cookies that you baked last year ! :D I remembered! (: Love you !

Ang Li Min : Hey love , i'm sorry that i didn't really talk to you today cause i'm just so tired . You might be wondering why am i so tired everytime though i've always been sleeping early at night . Too bad lah , you got a friend like me who has to hibernate at least 10 hours a day like a polar bear to recharge battery . Ah , don't worry , i'll try my best to keep myself awake . If not i don't mind you hitting me everytime i doze off like what i did to Shermaine the other day during Humanities lesson . (: And anyway , not like i'm very good person to entertain you , cause its not like whatever i say would cheer you up or what . Sometimes i find that i'm just craping some rubbish that has no link to any topic that you're saying , and you didn't say anything except noding your head . So i thought i shouldn't bother you cause i find that i'm just irritating you at the wrong time everytime .So yeah , that's about it . Love you , thanks for all the letters .

Siblings .

2010-02-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

Shall blog about today . Its some reunion dinner day , and its also a day that mom would cook the best dishes , and its also a day that my family and i had the most quietest dinner of the year . Shan't talk about the unhappy stuffs , cause they just spoil my chinese new year . Had mushrooms , egg , tofu , spinach , fish and spicy japanese cucumber for dinner . Quite simple , but awesome (: Shall talk about siblings . Heard from many of my friends that younger siblings were annoying and irritating . Thinking back , i was a younger sibling too . In fact , i was the youngest . And hearing from whatever bro has got to say about me when i was young , if i were him , i wouldn't tolerate such a sister for altogether more than 10 years . They said i would go into their room when they were studying for their exams , and started to take away their stationeries , books , and other stuffs that they need for the exam . And when they had no choice but to snatch them away from me , i'll just start crying , and that's when they both got scolded by mom for so called "bullying" me . HAH , i don't know if i should laugh about it , cause if i were them , i've no patience for all these nonsense , especially during the period of time when i'll be having my exams . I thought i'll just lock my younger sibling up in a room and make sure i'll only let him or her out after i have finished my studying to prevent them from getting on my nerves while studying . I know that sounds really mean and "cruel" , but still , that's me (: I've friends , juniors , seniors or same age , many of them had younger siblings , and they find them annoying and they didn't really treat them well . What i told them was that , treat them like as though they were your age , whether they're irritating or not . Cause after all , they'll mature and realised that whatever they're doing is annoying to others and they'll also have more brains to think of what's right and what's wrong . Come on , i'm a younger sibling too . And i can totally understand how all younger sibilings feel when the older sibling didn't treat them well and take as though they didn't exist . It wasn't good , in fact it was really really really terrible , and i dare admit i cried alot when i was young cause of these stupid things . But after i reached the age of 12 , my siblings started to treat me better , cause they knew that i've grown . And they'll start to understand you better and treat you more like an adult , because it was indeed true that you're growing up . In fact , sometimes they even listened to whatever i've got to say . They won't be like : " mei mei shut up , you don't know anything . " You'll feel that you got your place at home , and in them . And the feeling was indeed a comfort for me . I didn't thought they'll treat me any better when i grow up . Yeah , in the end they did . I was glad (: Now i get : " mei mei , any objection ? " HAH , thank God i've got pillars to support at home now . (:

2010-02-12T05:45:00.000-08:00

AFTER CNY CELEBRATION OUTING !

HAHAH ! Today was just so cute . We got our 12 animals performance for Chinese New Year , and i swear i didn't expect any one to shout my name while i was performing . I heard Nat's voice , Dione's , most 3/8s , some 3/7s and 3/9s . I was shocked , and then i'm like ah shhhhh !!! Don't distract and stress me out if not i'll screw up !!! " HAHA , after performing , went back to hall to watch the rest of the performance . Shermaine and Beverly were damn funny , i saw them and they're like : " Hey horse-y ! " HAHAHA , omg they all recognise me !!!! Meaning the make up wasn't thick enough ! HEH . Was really hyper today . Adeline gave me some Valentine's day present . And i swear the squishy cupcake/cookie/kueh she baked was damn damn damn nice though its really soft . Thanks love for that ! :D Though i could tell that you were really fucked up today cause of lao shi , you're still the awesome senior that i had kay ? You and Nat rock (: And i was fucked up too , so fucked up that i've to tear to make myself feel better . I was feeling so terrible that i've to keep chilling myself down by sitting at a corner . So don't listen to whatever lao shi has gotta say , she sucks , that simple . And i think she knew that we both were fucked up cause of the costume , she let us have a change , but still -.- Don't bother . Ah next , saw Gloria and Gina . They were sort of giving me a "you were really funny up there" look . And i gave the " hmmph ! Never mind " face . HAHA , i was just super hyper today that i hugged Natasha/Nicole and Joanne so hard that they got problem breathing . I suddenly wished the 2009 sec 4s gymnasts were here . They've been so great , but all've graduated except Adeline , who's graduating next year :( Hmm , shan't elaborate about unhappy stuffs . After that , me and Li Min met up with Gloria , Gina , Francesca , Verlyn , Durga , Abigail and Grace Quek ( i don't know , i just saw her at the bus stop , she'll being going amk ) . Set off to town !

Everyone went for movie except me and li min , cause i've no cash left and li min doesn't wanna watch so i'll just accompany her and not pang sei her . I swear today was just awesome man . Its also a good day to exercise with Li Min , cause we basically just waste our time turning the whole town just to find Rachel and Miranda -.- We were both really pissed , cause they kept changing venues of where to meet . At the same time when we roam around town , we had fun . Though our legs were hurting like shhhiiitt , we talked and laughed along our way . (: I swear going out one friend is not a good idea , for me . Cause it'll just be like : where to go next ? " " don't know , up to you ah ." " you choose ah , i seriously have no idea where to head to ." Okay this is just rubbish , wasting time . But i think there's something more to it . After meeting up with Rachel and Valerie , we suddenly felt like we were back to life . We started talking about stupid stuffs and laughed . There's this guy that was really damn afraid that he can't get up the escalator , so afraid that i'm actually standing together with Valerie , he practically pushed me , but too bad i stepped on already so he just gave me the " tsk " look . Hello ? The escalator will disappear if you wait for one more second is it ? Where's his manners ? And he's not an old man that doesn't look not educated . Will you die if you wait for the person that is suppose to step on first before you ? One more incident . I was walking with Limin , Rachel and Valerie at ION . I was finding something in my bag while walking . Guess what . I wasn't blocking the way , though i don't have eyes behind my head . We were walking towards our left . This guy was rushing , and he just pushed me aside . He kept quiet , without saying excuse me , and after knocking into me from behind , he didn't apologise . I didn't expect an apology , because i thought most educated people would say that , or at least those that have a mother to teach them manners . I just gave them a "its fine you didn't push me , i just suddenly feel like falling down , so i purposely trip myself " look . Please , the road is so wide that i think it can fit like 15 of my friends including me standing in a row . Is he so fat that he has to squeeze/push me even though he's rushing ? And shouldn't him be finding some bigger space to walk into since he's rushing ? Sometimes i just don't understand people . -.- Never mind , i'll just treat as though nothing happened . Grrrr .. Never mind .

Tomorrow would be reunion dinner , and i'm so gonna get an unwanted guest at home , and cause of her , dinner would be so quiet and weird . Thanks man , if dad didn't force me to call you for tomorrow's, the best is that , the further you go , the better . Don't break up the family .

Great work for everyone today , especially Kristiania , Esther , Nicole , Natasha , Joanne , Alexis , Rachel , Jafni , Jaslyn , Melissa and Adeline ! What ever lao shi's gonna say after that , I believe we've done our best (: Lets everyone all face competition together ! Rock on , gymnasts ! :D

2010-02-10T04:29:00.000-08:00

Today was just boring , cramps got worse , and i think LiMin got irritated hearing all my complaints and stuffs . Never mind about that . Got history graded assignment . Grah , so humanities -.- School was as boring as usual . nothing much to blog about , i just suddenly miss Gloria , Gina , Aubrey , Li Min , caroline and me being all together . That day'll never come , will it ?

2010-02-09T02:37:00.000-08:00

MASSIVE SOCIAL STUDIES TEST .
Hah , common test was social studies , graded assignment was social studies , and i think there're more of social studies coming up . Altogether i guess i did like 5 sources . But the graded assignment was easier yeah . Went home after that , got cramps . Terrible day . Thanks and sorry Li min for tolerating my complaints today , and i'll tolerate yours , don't worry , if you really needa let everything out . (:

2010-02-06T02:28:00.000-08:00

Omg today was just awesome , though quarreled with mom before going out , the usual thing . Went out for some trainers meeting thing after piano , meet kris at school , was so so so sorry to be that late . Ah never mind . Reached some aspen heights condo in a few minutes , had fun . After everything , went shermaine's house instead of town . Quite upset though , cause when i pass by town on the cab , i suddenly feel so home . HAHA , but it okay . Cause i believe there'll be somemore days that'll be like that . Shermaine's mom being damn nice , even boutght dinner for me , but of course , i die also will pay her back (: Thanks shermaine , and sorry kris for all the stupid things that happened today . i love you people , and thanks .

2010-02-05T04:55:00.000-08:00

Goodbye bro , see you chinese new year .

The one in blue smiling . HAHA , he knows we're taking a pic of him.

Obviously too busy talking to his friends .

Dad's taking really long time to take the pic ..

Hamburger face ! SUBWAY ! RAWR ! BRO's fav "burger place "

This was taken during christmas dinner (:

Take care, backside .

2010-02-04T06:26:00.000-08:00

Its just a few hours to 10.45 am tomorrow . Though i dare not think about this , but i just gotta face it . People might just think that its just army and i get to see bro every weekend , but they'll never understand how it feels like leading a life like mine . Daily routines can be really boring and stress . But no one would really understand how i feel everytime i had to drag my feet to and fro school . The journey itself is enough to kill me .

To my dearest brother :

Hey backside , remember the times when we always run around at grandpa's house and mom would give us a you-two-will-get-it-from-me-once-you-all-reach-home look ? HAHA , thinking back , you were only 12 and i was 7 . Grandpa would chase us around the house with the cane threatening to cane us ( but obviously he wouldn't cause he loves us so much though he has uncountable grandchildrenssssss ) with a bunch of cousins ? Big bro would find all of us lame and he'll sit aside to watch the television while we'll produce a new nonsense everyweek . That day would never come again , and i missed that day , a lot . 'Cause we've all grown up , i can't possibly be running around with you again . It'll be so weird . Sending you off was not a very good thing , i expect ? None of us wants you to leave , not even mom , the usual "must-cane-you-cause-you're-most-of-the-time-naughty" . You might be with a bunch of buddies when we reach pasir ris tomorrow , but its fine (: As long as you smile before going in , we're all happy :D Well you might be too happy to even notice us there after mixing with people . Too busy , i guess ? but its really fine . You might not read this , or you might not even know about this , cause i can share everything with you except this . I don't want to see you upset cause i'm upset before going in . You told us that you looked forward to going into army for some reason cause you don't wanna stay at home , but a few days ago , you told me you would miss home and all the fun we all had together with big bro and how we tease dad on how fat / how many gazillion times my size . Haha , i might be a smallie at home for all i know , but i'm nice (: AND YOU KNOW THAT :D I know it wouldn't be the same after 2 years after you come out , an example was big bro . We hardly had any topic to talk about when he reached home during weekends , he was just so tired that he lay dead on the bed before even showering . I kinda expect that from you too , cause i know you're like him and me , we all hibernate like polar bears . I don't know ? But 9 hours of sleep is not enough for me , call me a pig . I'm going out on saturday with a large group of awesome buddies i had , but i'm not sure if it'll turn out to be good , cause its after you left :( One more incident , i could still remember the time when i was 5 . Our family of 5 were crossing a road , and mom and dad were walking in front , you, me and big bro were walking behind . The car almost knocked me down cause as you know , big bro got the i don't give a shit attitude so he just told us to watch out for cars and he joined mom and dad . You ran together with him , leaving me behind , you ran , so i decided to follow ! And the car stopped inches away from me with a damn loud horn that almost make my ears bleed . You got scolded from mom after that . HAHA , sorray , you got me to take care of almost 24/7 of my childhood days (: But you need not now , cause i've grown up . Be glad , enjoy army if you can . I'll call you at night (: I wanna bed time storries :D HEH . no lah , please . Too tired to listen . I'm sorry for being such a screw up sister , who forever disappoint you with all the stupid stuffs that i do without using my brains . You can beg me to study for this minute and the next minute i'll just forget about everything . But one more thing that you can't escape is that you've got a sister like me . (: I'll miss you , see you chinese new year (: I'll try to stay normal as i see you off , but 99.99999 % i won't make it as you know .
Love you teddy bear , you must be back , cause i want you back .

2010-02-03T02:47:00.000-08:00

Hmm , guess what ? Its 2 more days to go . When my life's gonna be so boring and shit . So far , nobody in the family mentioned anything about bro's going into prison day , but i bet all of them can't bear him to leave . Though big bro's got the i-don't-give-a-shit face , but i know he's rather upset cause no one would be there to fight him in frozen throne . Mom would miss the times when 2nd bro loves to make her angry and would cane him when he doesn't hand in work during his primary school days . Dad would miss the time when he got beaten by 2nd bro for chinese chess . I would miss every single thing about him . He did lots of stuffs for me . Some little tiger vocab book , stretch cords , print nice piano pieces , coach me in studies , cover my blanket for me when i'm about to sleep at times , cheer me up when i fucked up simple tests and exams , explain things to me , gives me useful advices , get scolded by mom and dad together when we're not obedient , help one another when we got caned by mom and dad when we were young cause we're playful , bringing back the tuba during his secondary school days to "join" music with me at 11.30 pm when we would wake the whole world up , had study sessions together , meals together , island creamery together , 6th avenue's durian stall together , volleyball together , lots and lots more , so many that i couldn't remember all of them . What i heard was that when i was just 1 year old plus , he came home after school and steal a bite from my biscuit , and immediately i cried so loudly that i thought i would tear the roof down . Thinking back was just all the fun we had together . He understands me best and he never failed to encourage me and make sure i stand up myself to carry on . He wants the best in me and he would make sure i do well in my studies . We share almost everything together . Can i possibly share something with someone that i don't usually share with ? Not even 1st bro . Though he's still my brother , but we're not as close , meaning it wouldn't be the same . So what if anyone could do whatever 2nd bro can ? Its just different . 2 more days , and i swear i'll treasure every single minute .

Love you bro , you've always made yourself the best childhood buddy (:

2010-01-29T19:23:00.000-08:00

Was woke up by mom early the morning at 8.30 ( hello , its a saturday ! ) for piano at 9.30 cause she knows that i take 1/2 hour to get out of my bed . ( by the time i give her a damn frustrated look , dozed off , open my eyes , stretch myself and then stand and stable myself ) Yes , that's me early the morning everyday which is why i had to wake up 1 hour earlier before leave home for school at 6 . Lesson wasn't so bad , though i suck at scales now cause i haven't been touching it for weeks ? Pieces were fine , surprisingly . After teacher left , used the comp .

"Hey bro lets go watch Spy Next Door before you leave for army . "
"Sounds like a good idea . Hmm , ask Big bro along . "

DA GE! YAO BU YAO QU KAN XI ?

" Ah okay . Go lor . Time ? "
" 3.55 pm . Mom won't be going . She got something on . "
" 'kay . "

Ran back to 2nd bro .

" He's going . Awesome :D"
"Ah that's great . "

And he shout to the kitchen .
" MAMA ! You settle the movie ticket we go watch lah :p "
" AH NA OKAY LAH GO LAH GO LAH ! "

That's how nice mom can be at times (: Heh .

2010-01-27T01:27:00.000-08:00

Oh well done guess what ? I just fucked up a POA test . And worse still , its the first test . I got things mixed up , and i guess 10 marks just flewededededed . Kinda sucks . Bused home with Shalini after school , reached home , forget about lunch cause i simply had no appetite and i even forget about feeling hungry . So , pianoed . Surprisingly i haven't forget how to play pirates , and i guess i haven't touched it for around close to a year . Hmm never mind about that . History test was a rush . We only had 1/2 hour to finish up 2 sources . Plus , i was feeling damn tired . So the first 5 minutes were spent on reading one sentence over and over again cause my eyes kept closing . But fortunately i managed to finish everything . Not so bad still , quite simple . Tiring day . CCA tomorrow (:

2010-01-25T06:12:00.000-08:00

Adeline Chua :

Hey love , i know you're feeling kinda stress now as i see you train during training today . You would throw the hoop up high , hoping that it'll land on your leg , but unfortunately it just don't seemed to turn out to be that way . I always see it on the floor and as you see it land on the floor instead of your leg , your face changed from some hopeful to disappointed to expressionless and then fucked up expression . I really have no idea on how to help you in this . Reylyn and i went up to you when we saw you lying flat on the floor with the hoop rolling away . You kept assuring us that you're fine . But obviously not very successful . You told me that you're going home cause you felt really tired , well , so am i . I stayed when i don't need to . But you need to . I mean , by the end of the day you're the one that's gonna excel in gym . Yes i can't really help you in that . "I'm not stressed . Its just me . " was a reply i got from you when i asked if you're alright . It feels as though you're sort of pushing me away from stuffs that you think you can handle them all by yourself when i'm trying to help . Frankly speaking , i felt damn bad when i can't help you , but i don't blame you . Cause you've to really concentrate on your studies this year , some big crucial year whereby you'll be sitting for your Os . I wanted to give you a hug today , but you just shake your head and continue to pack your bag . I decided not to irritate any further , so i moved to Michelle's side to watch DJT'S performance . After the performance ended , you were no where to be found . Adeline left without a word was what i though . Whatever it is , don't stress k ? You gotta fish out a decision yourself and answer to lao shi ( -.- ) . I'll respect any decision you make . Pinky promise that i won't stress you further . You're the bestest of the bestest . Together with Nat . (: And lastly , i'm sorry for being such a screwed up junior that will just mess my whole routine up when the crowd gets bigger . Hope to see ya soon smiling . Sorry , this is the most that i can do to cheer you up .

Love you as i always do ,
Hui Hui the Meh Meh the goldfish eyes .

2010-01-20T03:39:00.000-08:00

AH . Blogging's not so bad after all though i don't really have anything good to blog about . Shall just blog about today . I'm so damn fucking sick today . I didn't have sore throat , but my flu was bad enough to change my voice to make me sound exactly like a man . Shalini have been like : awww , are you okay ? " while i shake my head and tell her that i've flu and cough for don't know how many times .. Glad to hear from bro that i get to at least touch the computer after finishing my work , but not everyday . Though its not everyday , but good enough . Better than don't have -.- Today was dangerous . Firstly is what happened during madam teng's class , when Li Min and i got away so closely . I swear she was really panicked when mdm teng walked over . Gotta calm her down . She looked really "pale" and relieved after madam teng walked away . At most don't do anything during her class .. Never mind about that , next was during POA . Sat beside Audrey during lesson . For some reason when Audrey took out a chicken biscuit to munch on , some music started playing from her bag . I SWEAR HER FACE TURNED RED . R-E-D . Immediately she switched off her phone , hug her bag and continue munching on the biscuit . As i calm i her down , i can feel her heart beating so fast that its like gonna explode out of her ribcage the next second . Chill , Auds . Its fine , and thanks for the chicken biscuit (: After school went back to class , got a "GET-WELL-SOON" hug from Jillyn :D YAY . HAHA ! HEH , thanks yaw , awesome buddies :D Went home to finish my POA homework , big bro had moodswings . He gave me a fuck-off look when i accidentally touched the off button of the CPU when i was adjusting my phone to charge it . Sorry then .. Wasn't on purpose .. Next was dinner , simple but i was really bloated after eating 5 mouths . I'm a super energy saver today . Don't ask me , probably cause i'm sick .. Can't wait for gym tomorrow to at least do a bit of exercise and not a after school and home routine -.-

2010-01-18T22:27:00.000-08:00

Went to school today and everything's per normal . Ah well , lessons were equally boring . Bro called during class time , went to the toilet to pick up the phone and guess what ? " see you at King albert park's macs for dinner and study . Bro had SAT to sit for before going into army , so i guess he's gonna study too ? Li Min had to go to some girl guide place to buy cookies so she had to leave early . I went to ask around and apparently , no one is free enough to accompany me until 5 when i had to leave for KAP . Never mind , remembered that there's free access lab , so headed there . Sat beside Wendy . She's looking for some anime cartoon thingy that i so not interested in . Tomorrow would be another boring day til thursday when there's gym (: well , now , i find that there's no point training . Adeline , Nat , and i were sort of fucked up after hearing what lao shi said . Look forward to gym now to see gymmates , juniors and have fun with people as well as to learn all those moves that we'd wished to learn .

2010-01-16T18:58:00.001-08:00

I swear i had a sucky day today . Please , i even had to quarrel with my mom to go out . What's this ? I'm 15 , not 5 and not 5 months or 5 days or 5 hours or 5 seconds or 5 milliseconds . -.- For some reason , bro talked to her and say that she let me out , but she won't give me a single cent and my phone . Now what's this ? Call this letting me out ? She knows that my phone is important to me , and that i'll die without my phone . Now she come telling me that she'll let me out without my phone . What the heck . Its like indirectly not letting me out . Called Danielle . Told her that i won't have my phone . Talked to Marcus . And what time are they ending ? 4 . And i'll probably reached at 3 or even later . No point going . Cause its so not worth it . I've to sacrifice my phone for just 3 hours out . Or less . Seriously not worth it . Now not having a phone , not allowed to the comp(obviously she's not home and bro's home now? -.- ) , not allowed for outings . Even had a problem with me listening to mp3 . Who in the world can survive with all these man ? Can somebody just kill me now ? -.- Piano-ed for around one half hours . Dad might be bringing us out for dinner or probably we'll just survive on packed food again . Don't mind though , as long as i'm still breathing and my heart's still beating then that's good enough , i don't expect anything else from anyone now . Seriously , i don't see a point in anything now .

Oh so now what ? Guess i'll just have to stick a result slip tight on her face with As . I can do that , but who can assure me that she doesn't bug me whenever i wanna go out to breathe ?

2010-01-16T00:03:00.000-08:00

Talking about CCA fair , it was indeed awesome . I didn't screw up , though some of the rest did . And well , i almost screw up though , looking at the video on facebook took my Rey Lyn . I almost missed my hoop . But i didn't (: Well , actually this post was written before the first post . CCA fair ended quite late , around 5 plus . By the time we do our hair properly , its dinner time . Went macs with Dione and Adeline to meet Kenneth and Wavven . Decided to head to town for dinner . I swear each and everyone of them cheer-ed me up for the day . Actually Danielle said that we'll meet Marcus together with the rest on Friday ( cause i know i can't make it saturday ) and in the end they can't make it so i'm felt damn fucked up . Please , i've to tell the rest of my seniors to cover up for me during CCA fair while i escaped . That's one thing . Another thing is that i've to lie to mom to even go out . And how many percentage chance i get to go out and that i escaped from scoldings ? That's really really pathetic . Again , i'm 15 . And again , what the heck . -.- Thanks :

Adeline : Though you don't really know what happened , cause i don't wish to mention it so i didn't let you know , now you know what happened , but i can tell that you did try ways and means to cheer me up . Together with the rest . I really wanna thank you for everything that you've done . We've been through 2 competitions and 2 CCA fairs together . You've been a great senior that is worth for every junior to look upon to . Thanks for all the encouragement during gym when i know i suck to the core . You've made me learn lots of things . We shared lots of private stuffs apart from normal daily school and gym stuffs . Yeah , thanks a lot (: Love you . Good luck for Os .

Dione : Thanks for doing the CCA fair . I know its for my sake cause you don't wanna see me upset or whatsoever . I know i shouldn't let you affect me or whatever not . But how can i not ? You're one of my closest friends and also one of those which i care most . Next time , i'm not gonna force you or anything if you don't wish to do anything . I don't see a point anymore . You did great for CCA fair . I must say . Thanks for cheering me up that day too though you didn't know what happened . Love you (:

Kenneth and Wavven : You people really made my day by ga jiao-ing me sometimes . HAHAH , i've no idea but i just felt like laughing everytime i see you guys . You two look damn alike and you funny have the "hey i'm funny " face . Yeah , thanks (:

2010-01-08T05:49:00.000-08:00

Camp was awesome !!!

Ha , yes , indeed it was . We all just had lots of fun . Most of us cried though after everything . We've got kayaking , rock climbing , flying fox , milo pond , and many many more more games . Sleeping at night was the best after a tiring day . Though the place was disgusting , its the company that counts yeah ! :D

2009-12-31T21:27:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR !

Hmm , went to school for gym , and met Dione and Adeline and Wavven and Kenneth at serene macs to munch on stuffs before heading to some arts museum . Uli and Nigel came after a while . That day was super funny i swear . Got entertained by Dione , Kenneth and Wavven . I was laughing so hard . Left for home and i swear i shouldn't have rushed . I can be so effing dumb that nobody would be as dumb as me . I swear .

Ah , its a new year and school's starting in 3 days time . Can you imagine that ? I'm 15 next year . Hmmm , that's fast , i could still remember when not long ago i was still 4 or 5 . And now i'm like 10 years older . Time flies ? Shall share about 2009 then . Its been a great year , though lots of things happened , be it pleasant or unpleasant . But every year i'll just make more and more friends . Of course not forgeting my primary school days , the most fun thing ever was when i was in primary 5 and 6 ? HAH , its like when we were graduating after PSLE , we've lots of fun and we felt as though we all have grown . Next year , i would be some upper secondary student stuck in St Margaret's school . The friends were just awesome there , cause they were really nice ? And for one thing that i liked about St Margs is that friends ( i mean real friends ) there don't look down on you . Most of them treated everyone equally . Talking about beginning of 2009 , i could still remember how i upset i was to be posted to 2/7 . Many of my friends were in 2/6 and i thought i was gonna be very lonely and such but it obviously didn't turn out to be that case ? HAH . Apart from sec 1's clique's Shermaine , Li Min and Caroline Cho , and the fun people Jiang Yun , Audrey and Caroline Halim , i met Jillyn , Shalini , Melissa Tan and Wong and Tao Pang . Jillyn's someone in class that'll forever do foolish and lame things to make me laugh . Well i seriously can't help it but to laugh ? Shalini is my 961 bus partner . My first impression of her was that she's some bossy person . HAHAH , but of course she's not . She'll just keep smiling ? and smiling . Which is sometimes quite scary . Contagious laughter . Melissa Tan's some skinny bamboo that's not very outspoken . Nice though . She told me : " my father best . thought my birthday was in april so he bought me a birthday present when my birthday is in May . " HAH , i'm like omg , how long've you not talk or live with your dad . Tao Pang did me a great great favour in my Sec 2 life . Frankly speaking . When i skipped lessons cause of competition , she'll be there to help me in my work . Everytime when i'm sleepy in class and i just forget about listening , she'll explain things out to me . We would go home together and take bus together ( when i'm early enough ) . Though she doesn't really have her own decisions and everything , she lead a simple and easy life . Not forgeting that she'll also join us for fun and also laugh with us for stupid things as usual . Rachel Oun , i bet she has no curfew , but she's also been really nice , and having her as a play mate is of course a good thing , cause to me its all the company that counts yeah . We might not be in the same class next year but she's still an awesome playmate (: Mei yen is known as the polar bear in class , love having sitting down games with her . she's been really nice too ! and not forgeting that she'll help me find songs on the internet (: thanks Meiyen ! :D Audrey's next . Audrey's someone who sat in front of me in class , making my life beside ANDREA LEE more memorable . HAHA , thanks Auds ! And Audrey also light up my day by saying stupid things about Disco ball . Especially during Humanities lessons . HAH , same class next year Auds ! Happy new year ! Next . Celeste . I swear i'll never forget the time that we sat on the floor listening to mp3 when Mr Kelvin Chua came in . I was shocked seriously . I'm like what happens if he were to find out and the mp3 got confiscated . HAHA , you've made yourself an awesome classmate that'll sometimes make teachers angry like me lor ! :D HEH , like mrs shum , and omg if i get her any more year in my life in st margs i'll just end my life . HAHA , 1st class uh ! Goodl uck with A maths ! Moving on to Shermaine . I've no comments , really . She'll just be a baby and whine about small things in the morning when she's tired ( everyone's tired-.-) , be a pervert in the afternoon when she's slightly awake and be really sweet when school's over , she'll hug people and then bye bye . Li Min is also someone i can laugh with since sec 1 though my relationship with her wasn't really good during sec 1 days cause of some stupid misunderstanding with a midget (: HAHAH , feel like laughing about it . And we were thinking about the same thing when we became a clique . Caroline Cho , Hmmm frankly speaking , wasn't really close to her anymore , quite upset though . But we're classmates still , so its fine (: Aubrey . She can be quite upset over things and be like me , don't feel like talking and sharing about it . 'Course she's nice , my piano mate ! :D Somebody one grade higher than me uh ! 7 eh , though . Good luck though (: Gloria is someone that i can share small stuffs with . I mean some big stuffs is like i don't normally share with her ? Maybe some family thingy . But i love her house , its the best place for some movie marathon and such . She've some play station thingy that is quite funny . Gina is like my teddy bear . She's really someone that i can rely on for problems . She does what is right for you , be it whether you like it or not . I can asked her for answers to my homework : " NO . " she said , in a firm and clear tone , shaking her head . I didn't blame her for that , in fact i sort of thank her for that , cause she's really a truthful friend . Gina Awesomeness (: Moving on to gymmates , they're the best people . Dione said we were army mates . Actually , quite . TALKING ABOUT DIONE KEH , as i always said , depression is not a problem when she exist in your life . I SWEAR . Wavven and Kenneth were exactly like her . No comments . Dione can be really sweet , but UNPREDICTABLE . Really . She is fine with you spoiling her things , as long as you apologise sincerely . But she might be not fine with it , if she's not in her best of moods . After all , she made me laugh . I can get pissed with her over small things or big things whatever , but i'll just forget about whenever she made me laugh by just doing a forward roll out of no where . And then there go everyone : HAHAHAHA . " Dione introduced the whole world to me . So many that i can't fit everyone in my small brain . Away from Dione , its Adeline . I can just trust everything to her . Like seriously everything . She knows my deepest of the deepest secrets , whether i know hers or not , doesn't really matter , but she can be trusted . She understands exactly how i feel , though she didn't exactly experience what i did experience . It started off with me finding that she looked really scary and fierce in gym , cause she trains alone , sits alone and most of the time have breaks alone . I didn't really dare talk to her at first , but i became to know her more when she started pressing me down for split . Just that one time , we began talking . I remembered exactly what we talked about . She shared about her experience in gym , about how badly she sucked and now she's like the best . She sort of resembled me when she talks about her life in gym , I came into gym without knowing what's gym and i'm freaking serious about it . I thought it the artistic way , and i've totally no clue on what i'm doing when laoshi told me to take the equipment to practice . ( i was thinking , i don't see any equipment used during artistic gym ) It rhythmic . I see . And i didn't really work hard for it , and i was side by side with Adeline and Jin hui (: Best gymmates including Dione . Orientation optionals 2010 ! :D Awesomeness . I really can't wait to train together again . I've no idea though , when there's no gym i'd look forward for gym , but when there's gym , i just feel like rotting and die . I barely survived in gym , but Dione , Adeline and Jin hui encouraged me and push me to work harder . Especially the juniors , when you see them improving under the hands of yours , the feeling of satisfaction is indescribable . Esther , Jafni , Kristiania , Jaslyn , Germaine , Nicole , Natasha , Yi Ching . Best juniors (: Well , wishes everyone a happy new year ! :D

I've to chiong my studies for sec 3 .
nightmare .

2009-12-30T06:03:00.000-08:00

Cleared the misunderstanding . Had great time laughing during training again today cause of DIONE again . Haha , usual thing , she said she saw some bangla wearing the gymfest shirt . Me and Adeline were like EWWWW... HAHAH . New years eve tomorrow ! :D

2009-12-29T05:17:00.000-08:00

Gym sucks today . I'm damn damn damn vexed . Shall end here .

2009-12-24T21:48:00.000-08:00

Christmas with family ! HAH , heading to novena to have some buffet dinner . Awesomenessssss (: Yesterday was indeed fun , but i think today i will just gain another 10kg before going home .. And i think just bro alone will make the money very worth it . HAHAH , nothing to say about that , my family eats alot , like seriously . BUFFET HERE I COMEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!! (:

2009-12-24T08:38:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS !

Awesome day out with Adeline . Though its not like we really had fun but its the company that counts (: Met some friend of Adeline's and went to watch Avatar . Quite okay but i just felt really really dizzy . And the movie is so freaking long that i thought i'll just vomit and pee and shit on Adeline -.- I'm feeling so terrible , but the movie was quite good (: Heh , then went to find another SOMEBODY at some TWG place that sells tea and stuffs . The small small biscuit is so awesome that Adeline spent like 8 bucks on it . Crazy . HAHAH , and then church in the evening ! :D Brian told me : 6 at church! " but in the end i saw him 7,30pm at church , rushing off to the toilet to pee -.- luckily i didn't come at 6 if not i really dont' know what to do . Went church and see nobody , so Adeline called Joel and we went coffee shop to see them . Zhen Ming , Nicholas and Joel were eating dinner while me and Adeline sipped plain water . Poor thing . AH ! I missed out Nicholas' name for the drawing thingy ! Feel damn bad , its like i gave Zhen Ming and Joel then i search for Nicholas ... SHIT DON'T HAVE . AHHHH ......... HAHAH , anyway , owe him one ! (: and then saw Dione . Received 3 presents today : Claire's , Dione's and Big Brian's (: HAHAH , gave out whatever i wrote for people today , most of them appeared to be damn shock , and they were like : " omg thank you su hui ! " HAH , no prablermmmmmm (: Wavven made fun of me -.- Hate the sore throat .. Awesome day out ! :D Thanks Adeline for company today ! :D

2009-12-23T07:28:00.000-08:00

BODY GUARDS AND ASSASINS !

Whoa awesome man .. The Killing ! The sphere just pierced into the intestines and dig every single rubbish out and then splash ! Red paint . And the person go : EEEAARRRRRHHH !!! And there he is , on the floor , lying in a huge amount of red paint like in the swimming pool . Guess what's mom's reaction . She's covering her mouth , eye wide-d , and then : " OH MY GAWD . " Haha , and Dad was frowning for some reason , like as though he hated the bad guy in the movie and wanted to do the victim a favour to kill him . CHILLL DADDDD... HAH . The ending was quite sad though , everyone had to sacrifice themselves for China . And the little girl is damn damn damn cute !!! Omg sometimes i wished i've a younger sister , but i am one -.- Sad thing . HEH .

Meeting Adeline at the blue cover walk way near my house , and then we'll dress up and do up everything before heading to town to see somebody i don't know -.- Adeline didn't tell me much about it , and i was thinking scully somebody appear then i feel so light bulb :p HAHAHAHAHHAHAH . Hmmmmmm , Christmas ! :D Tomorrow's so gonna be an awesome day out ! (: SEEEE YAAWWWWWWWW !!!! (:

2009-12-22T05:12:00.000-08:00

BAKING !

What should i say about today ? Just totally awesome (: Met Adeline , Esther and Jafni at Marsiling station at 10 so i could fetch them to my house . The cookies turned out to be quite nice . I didn't expect it to turn out good though , cause if i'm not wrong we missed out on some ingredients and some step weren't right . HAHAH , awesomeness :D After that Esther and Jafni went Kristiania's house while Adeline and i went town . Omg i feel so home again (: TOWN ! :D HEH . And then we went back to school for some reason and we eventually train . We were just trying our best to be synchronise our aeroplane spin and back leg spin . Awesome man and oh , i'm so gonna get muscle ache again cause i haven't been training for like how long ? I dare not think what will happen on 29th to the 31st of December . Massive gym training .. GRAH ... Anyway , thanks to Esther , Jafni and Adeline for today ! :D Must bake again ah !

2009-12-21T08:20:00.000-08:00

BOWLING !!!

Today was awesome at Raffles Town Club with cousins (: Yeahp , bowling , and i beat kiddo for 4 games straight :D HEH . Striked for twice , though i haven't been bowling for a year i guess ? And the last time i went bowling was the time i got a scar on my left palm cause a number 12 ball dropped on my leg . Well done yeah ? No comments . After that was buffet ! (: I ate like free ? I guess i even forgotten how much i've eaten ? Lamb , beef , fish , chicken , fried rice , noodles , beef broth , shark's fin soup , uncountable prawns , 6 slices of ham , 2 cups of blackcurrant drink , 2 slices of sashimi , a serving of potato salad . WOW . I won't be eating this much if the food isn't awesome . HAHA , baking cookies with Adeline , Esther and Jafni tomorrow at home ! :D Bet it's gonna be so awesome even if it wouldn't turn out to be nice . Company that counts (: HEH , and then we'll be gyming (: SEE YA GUYS ! :D

2009-12-15T04:28:00.000-08:00

Caught New Moon with Esther , Natasha and Nicole . The movie wasn't nice , but the company's awesome . Hehe . Awesomest Juniors !!!

2009-12-13T19:49:00.000-08:00

Woke up at 11.45 today . So far its my latest waking up time . Can't believe i slept so long . Well i wasn't exactly very tired yesterday . Mom's out to NUH for some appointment , Dad's out to library and then to gran's house , 1st bro's at vietnam , leaving me and 2nd bro at home . At this kind of situation , obviously we both had to settle lunch ourselves . Sad case . Meaning its either coffee shop or packed food . Can't wait for mom to be back for the first time to bring us out ! :D

2009-12-12T03:10:00.000-08:00

14.09.95 is a date before 13.12.95 .

Happy birthday Gloria ! HAHAH , looking back , its been a long time ever since we've got a proper clique outing yeah ? Quite sad , seeing all of us drifting further and further :( Well , sorry that i can't catch new moon with you guys to celebrate yours and Shermaine's birthday , if you can make it you can try to go to Shermaine's place cause i'll be there for her birthday . (: We wouldn't be the same class next year you smart ass ! HAH , but we'll still be there for one another when troubles comes right ? If my brain is not dead or should i say about to be dead , i remembered us promising one another that we'll still be together as a clique even though we're not in the same class yeah ? Glad that i haven't broken the promise yet and most probably i won't unless for some reasons . I was sort of surprised that you even remembered my birthday . Cause its like everyone is busy doing their own stuffs and what i received from you was : " HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEH MEH . " HAH , touched touched :) Though its not the same anymore like how we were when we were sec 1 , but i can promise you that i've good enough memory to remember everyone's birthday . (: HAPPY BIRTHDAY , I LOVE YOU , I MISS YOU AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON . (:

2009-12-12T01:52:00.000-08:00

Piano today just sucks though teacher didn't say anything . Sight reading . The most i can do now is to make ti just right for the passing mark . Not feeling right today . Shan't elaborate about it . I miss Adeline and Dione , though Dione and i just met not long ago . I look forward for bro's arrival ! (:

2009-12-11T00:07:00.000-08:00

SMOOTH JOURNEY DA GE !

Its bro's departure to vietnam today for some school overseas trip thingy and me and mom woke up at like 3 am to send him there :) :( I Slept at 11.30 . Oh never mind . Bro promised to get something nice for me when he comes back ! YAYYYY ! :D DA GE AWESOMENESS (: Shopped at the airport for a while and ended myself at coffee bean , cheesssseee cake ! (: And then back home .

2009-12-10T00:37:00.001-08:00

KFC IN THE MORNING !

2009-12-08T21:31:00.000-08:00

Today was great ? Or should i say will be ? HAHA , woke up early the morning at 10 ( i mean its quite early for holidays though for me to sleep at 12 plus the day before ? ) and realised that yesterday night's supper was still not digested ? And here comes my breakfast to make sure my stomach explodes soon enough . (: Great . Lunch was quite shit , its noodles with curry sauce thingy that taste really gross . Well , its packed food from downstairs . Absolutely no comments about it . Heading to Dione's house later to do homework together . Guess i'm just gonna laze around -.- I can't wait for more outings when ever i see Dione or Adeline or my clique , cause they just remind me of fun fun and more fun . Which i don't think its a very good thing when ever a thought came across my mind to settle down to finish up the stack of homework . OFF TO MEET DIONE !

2009-12-08T02:48:00.000-08:00

Nothing much today , i'm just dying of boredom at home . I am doing my holiday homework . Amazing eh ? Its just some maths though . Shall talk about yesterday . Malaysia til late at night . It was awesome , i must say . SUSHI KING ! I swear the waiter got a shock to see how much food my family ordered . Just bros , they ordered like 50 ringgit . And then adding me , mom and dad , the bill was 252.48 ringgit . Damn cheap , we ate like we haven't been eating for 10 years . And when the food comes , the table wasn't big enough to occupy all of our food . HAHA . Other customers were just staring , probably shocked at the amount my family eats . We were so full that we can hardly move during shopping . We ate like as though everything on the menu is free (: AHHAHAH . Shopped for 1st bro as he's flying to vietnam for some school trip thingy next year and also some new year clothes for him . We took like hours finding a pair of jeans for him , cause his waist is so small that i think if he grew around 2 or 3 inches skinnier , i wouldn't mind sharing my jeans with him (: HAHAH , must share share , least i haven't forgoten what my kindergarden teacher taught me , daddy didn't waste money . HEH , he's waist is like 28 or 29 ? And please , that's bloody skinny for guys , like some bamboo stick that mom uses them to hang the clothes out to dry . 2nd bro's like 32 ? -.-

DA GE NEEDS MORE FATS .
And that's obvious .

2009-12-05T21:21:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER THAM SHI MIN !!!!!!!!!!!

14 is a bigger number than 13 .

Ah haha , 14's a bigger number than 13 (: Back to the point , you've made yourself an awesome flexi skinny junior by tolerating my nonsense during gym ( though i'm older but i've a 5 year old small brain , unlike your 13 year old ) . You've potential to do well , and i can see that you want your very best . As you're gonna be in ji ti for 2 years , i can see that you're trying hard to work together with teammates and also trying to fit into them . Ji ti isn't tough , but i thought the tough part would be the bonding of teammates . Different people have different point of views and for you being just a leader cannot control everybody's thinking . Yeah , i agree its not easy being some level head thingy , but from what i see is that you're managing it quite well , which is a good thing (: As what i've mention in your letter that i look forward to being teammates with you in future , indeed i do , but you've to get yourself out of xjt first and compuls . ( for goodness sake , the routine sucks , so judging your flexibility , you shouldn't be ending up there ) What i feel is that optional sucks too , but it'll definitely be cooler and you'll be very satisfied and contented with yourself when you can master your own routine right . And please , no one has your routine . Isn't that awesome ?! :D But lao shi , your future juniors , gymmates that are not as good as you , would put high hopes on you , and it'll definitely be stressful and you'll also feel bad when you can't do it well . I mean like everyone look upon you , and you disappoint them , that's what i'm feeling now and adding that you people kept saying my routine is cool , it just made me feel worse . Yeah , worse of all , you're alone by yourself if you forget your routine . You won't have teammates to cry with you when everyone gets emotional , you won't have any one to really understand what you've been through so far , you've to bear with everything by yourself . Optionals can be cool and fun , but you got to be independent and understand that nobody's gonna give a shit about you . The only thing that optional teammates can do is that they help you out with your moves and encourage you and nothing else . You got to learn to stand up on your own feet and be discipline enough to work hard for yourself . As usual , i'll be waiting for the day to come to compete together with you . (: Happy birthday .

love ,
AWESOMEST SENIOR OF ALL ,
HUIHUI.

SAKURA BUFFET FOR OLDER COUSIN'S 15 !!!!!!!!!!!

Ah cousin's birthday was awesome . I ate like there's no tomorrow and what's more i miss sakura at somerset (: I guess i just dump the whole plate of sashimi into my small stomach and i didn't care whether i'm bloated or not , i just continue eating and eating like i haven't eaten for years . The raw tuna was gross , cause i can taste nothing but blood . Its 10 times worser than sashimi though they're both raw . It looks exactly like watermelon , and 7 year old kiddo claims that "watermelon" is nice . ( and she's pointing at my plate of tuna soaked in blood ) .

Yesterday : Back home after cousin's sleepover for piano lesson . Stressssss , next exam coming up . Oh well , i guess i'll just take it easy (: Headed to Gran's house after piano to visit him cause uncle's went Genting . Boring day . Mom and Dad went out for some hotel seminar today . Meaning i've to stay home and stone til dinner time . Breakfast was late at 10 plus 11 . Damn tired .

2009-12-03T22:10:00.000-08:00

15 is a bigger number than 14 .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY "9 MONTHS OLDER THAN ME" COUSIN !!!!!!!!! (:

Well that's what i know (: kindergarden maths didn't fail at least . HAH . Last training with Adeline before she leaves for Hong Kong . Doing the orientation thingy for quite funny and easy today . As usual , Dione's being damn funny . She made the world laugh again , and i've absolutely no comments about that . Gym's tiring and lao shi added the aeroplane spin to my routine which is damn damn damn awesome . I was super happy (: YAY . Rey Lyn came to school to pass books to Sabrina and also take a look at how we're doing . I miss the sec 4s badly :( AHHHH . Hmmm , back to cousin's place for lunch after training and later i'm gonna be so bloated !!!!!!

2009-12-03T00:11:00.000-08:00

Sleepover !

MY MUSCLES ARE ACHING REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD BAD LY LY !!!!!

Its cousin's house again ! (: Awesome . Gym was fine , though i thought i almost died after 3 rounds of jumps . And my muscleache is getting worse , and it will get worser and worser and i don't think it even have time to heal please ? Its like damn painful . Macs with Adeline and Dione after training , damn funny again . In fact everyday is like damn funny la , as long as Dione is present there'll be everything to talk about . Like seriously , especially sick stuffs . Hmm Dione was asked from lao shi to do this ending pose that made her look like some princess crying on the floor cause her boyfriend left her . HAHAHAHAH ! She made the world laugh . Including the juniors . Frankly speaking , I don't know what to say and don't know whether to laugh or cry . HAHAH . Adeline went facial today . While i head home to get my lens case and head to cousin's house . An okay day but i still look forward to outings badly !!!! (:

NAT :

I missed you as much as i missed Adeline when she didn't come for trainings during her Ns . After hearing that you can't make it for training at all , i felt damn disappointed , cause we're not only training for competition but also sec 1 orientation CCA fair thingy . And we're all performing together . We've Adeline , Dione , Sherlyn , and me for the first few coming outs . I'll be waiting for you to come back . Miss you and love you .

2009-12-02T01:30:00.000-08:00

Gym was alright today , quite a successful orientation rehearsal , least i didn't flung anything YET . But i guess soon , as long as wwls were to come . Adeline didn't come today , cause she've some packing to do before she take off to Hong Kong . Sleeping over at cousin's house tomorrow , quite excited for it though most of them were kiddos except one . I sweated like mad today , free water -.- Played throwing hoops after training with Dione and juniors , suddenly felt quite fun . After training , headed home while Dione head to Jurong Point to see Adeline cut hair . Lunch was awesome , though i didn't really had mood to eat so much , cause its just quite a boring day though i spent most of my time in gym laughing cause of Dione . She did a forward roll again . HAHAHAH ! And those that she can't do cause of her operation , she told lao shi that her stomach would explode and all the juices would spill out , yeah i know that's gross if you were to think of it . We had to do bridge and walk over to the other side of the mat . Damn funny , everyone looked like some spider creature crawling . HAHA . Really couldn't help but laugh again . I guess my holiday would be a healthy one as long as i see Dione almost everyday which is what i am doing . (:

MYLITTLEAWESOMESNAILBUDDY!(:

DIONEKEHNING:

You don't need to feel bad or whatever okay . I mean like we're a team , and you didn't get the taste of ji ti , this is how ji ti feels like . Its fun in a way that we can train together and help one another , but its also bad if we were to sort of feel that we're dragging the team down . Since we agreed to help you , meaning we will and we will make sure you do well . If not what's the point of helping ? If you want me to come to school everyday for extra training with you , I WILL . I kept that as a promise to you , right ? And i won't break it . And whatever you do , remember that we're a team , so there's no such thing as dragging whoever or the whole team down . Its counted as like we are one , and if one person is not good , its counted as the team isn't good . We're willing to help , as long as you do your best . Cause i believe nobody's stupid . So since you said you want your best , then what is there to worry for ? As long as you do your part , there's nothing to be afraid of . We've each other . Don't we ? And i believe that Adeline felt frustrated not cause she finds that you're not doing your best , but she counted every single one of us as a team , one person don't do well , meaning WE don't do well . We have to move together as one . So what if a team of 10 has 9 pros ? They've to pull the last 1 up right ? And not all give up and ended up with nothing accomplished . Dione , we're here for you . I know it feels terrible when everyone even the juniors could do it but you can't . Its time for you to try it out . Trust me , you can as long as you try . That's your phrase for me isn't it ? Whenever my routine is like damn tough and i feel damn fucked up , didn't you kept telling me that i can do it as long as i work for it ? And who's the one who would support me whenever the hoop landed on the floor instead of my hand for big throws ? You need our support too i believe ? No one can do without pillars to support them . I love you as i always do , so does Adeline .

DO WELL , ITS YOUR FIRST MASTERED ROUTINE BABY !! (: (:

OUTINGS!!!

2009-12-01T05:47:00.000-08:00

Gym was awesome today , though its quite shit cause its one of my first times practicing for the sec 1 orientation CCA fair thingy . My routine is done but lao shi didn't add whatever i want in :( good luh , add only whatever she wants then whatever i say she just don't care about it . Ah shan't elaborate about it . Macs with Dione and Adeline after gym which ended at 12.30 . Omg its damn funny again , i spent the whole time laughing . Haha , don't need a big joke , only need 1 Dione there , enough . HAHAHAH ! Writing something for them and Esther . (: SEE YOU PEOPLE IN GYM TOMORROW !

I can't wait for outings !!!!

2009-11-24T05:26:00.000-08:00

Malaysia tomorrow !

Ah that's awesome ! Had gym today and was preparing for 2010 sec 1 orientation CCA fair thingy . Damn tired . Shall end here .

Sometimes i wish i could have just rot and die .

Feeling bloody fucking frustrated .

2009-11-23T01:17:00.000-08:00

Gym again . I improved !!! i mean , that's what i realised ? I only have a pathetic 3 bucks for snacks today . Breakfasted with Adeline at macs , our usual eat-more-and-grow-fat-place . After that went for gym at school . I was quite slack today but i sweat like madddddddddddd after 1/2 hour training . I'm already like half dead since then . Super tired . -.- During break time was the funniest thing ever . I was eating some chicken with potato with sour veg rice .

Adeline : Eh , you wanna come along with Dione and me to sell pens ?

After much consideration ..

Me : Yeahp sure but i've to be back home at a particular time .

Adeline : k . But i leaving soon , you go up tell lao shi you leaving ?

Me : AH . I told lao shi just now that i coming down buy water eh . Then now buy finish water go up tell her say byebye i'm leaving uh ? HAHA .

Adeline : AHAHAH . Tell her got interview ?

In the end we ended up at Dhoby , met up with Dione , and then sell pens . And then i went home and touch the piano keys . Its been quite long ever since i even open up my piano to touch the keys . Flipped open my score book and a piece just flew out . Sadness and Sorrow . Some naruto anime song that bro wanted me to master long ago , ever since i was 9 i think ? Haha , i've mastered it today in 1/2 hour (: Great , gotta play for him when he gets home after As . HEHE !

NG SU HUI CAN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS !!!

2009-11-19T22:36:00.000-08:00

NO GYM TRAINING .

Yes , wasn't sure if there's training , so just went to school and in the end there isn't . Met Adeline at the school hall and we decided to go macs to chill and have breakfast and then Dione called . She came to join us too (: We laughed and talked damn loudy . HAHAHAH . Omg , Dione can be lame , but i've no idea why whatever she say i'll just laugh til my stomach hurts . She's super funny . Actually she met up with us first , and then she said because of some stupid Mr Khairul , she gotta go back to school and ask him something , so me and Adeline carried on . Ordered food at macs .

Adeline : Eh i think Dione's having a hard time eh . She went back for so long already still haven't come back .

Me : Er ya hor . ( laughs )

Dione suddenly came .

Dione : Eh you know what ? I FALL DOWN !!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH , OMG its so damn funnnny ! Both of us started laughing really loudly and badly . Haha though its quite mean but the way she say it was really really omg i really can't help but to laugh . Dione sat down and munch on Adeline's food cause she can't finish them . Guess what . Dione chop the pancake into like a million pieces and apply it with some disgusting sweet sauce and she ate it . She ate like there's no tomorrow for the first few bites until i told her to chill . HAHAHAHAHA ! omg . And then the topic of conversation that we're sharing was : JERK ALERT ! HAHAHA . Ahem ahem . HE'S A TOTAL JERK . And Adeline claims that she wanna take the clubs and whack his head a million times but i thought by then he'll just be in coma forever or just die and kick his fucking dick . OMG ! HAHA . I swear i had a good time with them laughing my lungs out .

Thanks Adeline and Dione ! You people are the love !
You guys never failed to cheer me up whenever i'm upset . I look forward to a no-training-in-the-end-and-we-ended-up-at-macs-ourselves-slacking-and-laughing day with you guys again . Omg ! I'll be out with you guys again tomorrow if i'm allowed ! (: i hope so then . Thanks people for the fun you gave me today , love you all and you all're the best when it comes to lighting up the atmosphere .

Love ,
HUIHUI.

Went to cousins' house for lunch and everything . BLOATED I SWEAR . Can you imagine ? Just after breakfast at 10.30 to 11 was lunch at 1 ? Just a 2 hour difference and i had so much food for breakfast ? At home was buns with milk and then at macs was some fish burger meal . OMG I'M GROWING FAT . Yes i am .

Next thing . Training . Though i didn't wanna think about it but i guess i just have to face it , cause its a sooner or later thing , again . -.- I can't believe i even sort of threw tantrums at lao shi , but she didn't say anything , cause i think she probably know that i was really really tired and like worn out . My routine was total shit , but it wasn't so bad at the behind . Juniors and lao shis and gymmates my age put high hopes on my and look up to me . But i don't seemed to be working very hard for competition . In fact , frankly speaking , i've been slacking all these while . And i don't deserve to be looked up to . The person that's really working hard is Jin hui , my awesome teammate . She believes in working hard would get paid off and everything . And she would do her best in each and everything she'd do . But i'm so not like her . I would slack when we do drills and when we're stretching . Though i looked like i've been training so hard to be what i am today . Bullshit . I've always been slacking and lazing around and the person that's always encouraging me and helping me and pushing me from behind when we train for competition is Jin hui . See that ? I don't even give a damn about myself and i even need someone to care about my gym life on whether it's gonna rot soon . I'm just hopeless la ; As for flexibility , for me , it might be cause i'm born with it or whatever crap , cannot be train one . Cause the problem is i wasn't even really training for it . Not just that but everything . Well , what i feel is that i'm just weak . I need friends and people and seniors to support me whenever i'm training . Cause i'll just lose patience in myself when i don't get things right . And i'll just get really frustrated and then tada i give up . Yesterday when no one came , lao shi trained me like mad . But so far out of 10 throws , i caught none of them . That's how shit i am and how rusty i am without training for long . Dione told me she'll be coming but in the end she didn't , but i was waiting and hoping that a miracle somehow happen and she would suddenly appear to at least make me not so fed up , same goes to Adeline . But i waited to no avail . I gave up . Ding dong , 12 pm . Noon time and lunch time . I haven't even eaten anything except for the chicken wing i stold from Jin hui during break time . But i don't think i even deserved a break , so i didn't talk to lao shi about it . I continued training . " BYEBYE SUHUI ! " was what i heard from Jin Hui while i was training . Omg i just felt worse . Its like when you need your friends and gymmates badly , none of them appeared to help you and everything , but its the other way round , they leave you slowly . I felt like shit , seriously . "Bye." was what i said with a small wave to her in return . I whacked my chin and kissed the floor after doing 3 bridge down roll overs . It was terrible , and i didn't realise i was bleeding until i tasted something metalic and asked lao shi for permission to get ice to freeze the blood to prevent myself from dying . I bleed like free when i went to wash the would . The top part of lip was swollen while the lower part was sort of wounded . Grah , it hurts but i just didn't care about it. Went up to train again . Worse day of training ever , i swear .

2009-11-17T06:19:00.000-08:00

STRESS . ITS NOT EASY .

Woke up early the morning and head to school after shower for gym . Sucks ass i swear . I went just to talk to gym mates and nothing else . I think i'm just gonna drown myself in the big list of gym trainings til the last day of December . I seriously have no idea how my life's gonna go on , but i don't feel like thinking about it and i don't wanna think about it cause it'll just easily kill a zillion brain cells of mine . I can't believe i was damn glad that lao shi didn't come today to bian my routine for me ? i mean , i know it doesn't do me any good but i just hope that she can just don't come and give me a break though we had quite a long break already after exams til now . Today was barely even training , and i find myself rusting more and more like i can just totally give up and go bang the wall and die ? I've no idea why lao shi has high expectations on me , when i actually can suck so much . -.- i just screwed up everything today and lao shi that came today was rather patient with me but i know her patience won't last long if she were to teach me , cause i can tell she's rather frustrated today when i kept dropping the hoop . But one thing good about her is that she'll make sure you get it no matter what , and her limit for patience is somehow quite a big range , so i don't feel as bad when i screw up everything but she did sort of punish me to do some li liang but its so far alright for me . I'll rather do li liang for the whole lesson than stand and wait for lao shi to fish out a weird routine for me . I'll rather just die . I was really really tired today after getting home . I threw myself on my bed immediately after getting into my room without even showering or changing . I bet mom's got something to nag and say about already . But i don't think i even care for anything for now . I'm just so so so tired though i've no idea what've i been doing these few days . Just slacking ? But i just feel like i'm dying the next minute . I almost drown when i was showering cause i was half sleeping ? or should i say 99.9 percent brain shut ? Training sucks now i swear and i finally understand why Jodie and Adeline didn't really like optionals . Don't say compete , i'll drop dead by the end of this holiday practices , don't say competition . I'm really really afraid of screwing up , cause i know i'm someone that would forget every single shit be it easy or difficult when my small brain gets mixed up or confused or nervous or whatever or everything . Please luh , i can barely even remember what comes after what for today's simple routine , i seriously've no fucking idea on how am i going to survive when the whole damn routine is done . And for goodness sake , screwing up routine for me is not going to make my life easy in gym as long as lao shi exists . She'll torture the hell out of you . And she WILL . There's training tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and the next and next next and next next next week and after that and after after that . It'll never end will it ? Stress is it . Sometimes i feel like just leaving everything for others to do . Which i don't think such thing exist . HELP .

Can i say , i quit ?

I don't think so eh ?

2009-11-16T05:38:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BIG BRIAN !!!!!!!!!

Okay . Firstly , i checked my phone , and it shows big big with candles : BIG BRIAN , 6th NOV . Ahah , then i realised i forgot your birthday . But i remembered there's something on 6th november but i can't remember what . yeah , sorray ! Candy uh ? aiyo .. haha , i'll try to find a big one if i can . If not i'll get to many small ones . Haha . And anyway , i wanna thank you for trying to make me talk the first time i went out with everyone though its not very successful . But now if you were to talk to me i'll definitely not ignore anymore (: And yeah , i'm not pissed at you okay .. haha everyone says i've the i hate you look but i'm nice !!!!!!! right ? (: of course i am . Ah , and i can't do anything about angry face luh , so can't blame me :p but maybe it'll help if you were to punish me to smile for an hour cause that's what my friend make me do on her birthday to take it as a present from me to her . Sad right ? Cheek muscle ache ! HAHAH ! Okay enough crapping , again , sorry and thanks and happy belated birthday ! (:

MY SISTER'S KEEPER .

Caught my sister's keeper today . Omg i swear it was damn touching and sad . Most people ended up tearing after movie . Dinner at home was awesome and tomorrow's gym ! Frankly speaking , i don't really look forward to training . Cause i know its gonna be damn tiring and i hate to see the expression on lao shi's face when she's teaching me . I can tell that she's losing her patience , just that she didn't really show it out . But i know she would one day . Its just a sooner or later thing . And i've to face it , somehow .

Thought of meeting up with Adeline on the 23rd which i think i'm free though . Well i think i look forward for tomorrow is just to meet gym mates and spend time with them and nothing else . Its so boring to stay at home anyway . Plus i miss gym for another reason is that we get to ti tui and ya tui together and train together . I mean , its the company that counts for me for now . Thinking back , i used to look forward to gym cause i can get to learn new stuffs after every training , but now to think how much i suck in it after not training for long makes me feel damn shit . Cause i know if i were to go back to train now i'll get nothing but scoldings and critisism from coaches , and i don't think that helps for me to improve and catch up with everything that i've not been touching up for past few months of no-training-cause-of-exams .

Well , fought over with bro for stupid things in the afternoon before going out and it was just really really really stupid . For so many years we've grown up together , we're argueing over who's washing the dishes after meals , who's gonna mop the floor for mom , who's putting the clothes out to dry , who's doing all the crap that we were suppose to help mom in the housework . Though sometimes i really feel that i've not been understanding , cause bros're having As and another having some uni "i-don't-know-anything-about-it" exam . And i can tell that they're really stress over it . I can be talking to them regarding a certain matter and after 10 minutes they claim that i wasn't even talking to them . That's scary . But sometimes i really can't stand their moodswings . Omg , like disco ball . Never mind . But after all , we grew up together , have to live with it , cause we're still siblings , and they've been great all the while . And i count myself lucky to have them as my siblings .

All the best for exams !

2009-11-09T07:20:00.000-08:00

2/7 CLASS OUTING - EAST COAST PARK !

Awesome day at East Coast with 2/7 , the great class (: Let the pictures do the talking !

wahhhhh best photo man !!!!! HAHAHAHAHA.

AWESOMENESS 2/7 !

kristina , ANDREA LEE , celeste , shermaine , nabilah , rachel oun , huihui , tao pang , marissa , abigail , yi xian .

tao pang , shermaine ( eating corn ) , min min and me .

shermaine is obviously up to her nonsense again (: AM I RIGHT , SHERMAINE ?

on yi xian's daddy's cabbie!

sleep...

minmins' hand obstructing the way.

me and kris , and min min's small hole .

omg you don't wanna know what rubbish is this. is used diapers and sanitary pads. GROSSSSSS.

me and kris.

picking seashells.

me and min min.

this picture is blur and bright , cause when we were taking it halfway,rachel scream and ran off and shook my camera cause she felt something crawling on her leg . But after all its quite nice . (:

me and rachel.

kris , min min , shermaine.

me and marissa.

kris and shermaine.

kris washing her leg.

awesome seaside ! (:

me , min min , nabilah.

me and nabilah.

nabilah and me.

kris , me , rachel .

me and kris.

me and rachel oun .

me and tao pang .

2009-11-06T02:13:00.000-08:00

DIONE IS THE LOVE !

HAHA . Thanks for inviting me to church kay ? And anyway , not confirm can come fort the saturday thing luh . Hmm okay some words for you . I really really really wanna thank you for forever appearing at the right moment during gym to cheer me up when i start raining cause of lao shi's comments and everything . As you said , we're like army mates haha . Yeah ! I agree , its like when lao shi press us down for splits , we'll be like ahhhhhhhh nooooooo omgomgomgomg come on bear with ittttttt... haha right ? but that's what i tell myself luh . hmm , and apart from gym . Church thing and your class mates . You introduced almost the whole world to me (: and i can have people saying hi to me without me even knowing who are they cause you introduced too much people for me to store every of them in my small brain . You make sure i at least smile and laugh and talk in church so that i can make new friends , though i felt quite awkward at times cause i've nothing to say and i've no idea what to say cause i don't know any of them well . I'll try my best to make it this saturday though i've piano class . And also , christmas and swimming ! (: hahahaha . Bet its gonna be fun and fun and more fun ! (: Anyway , as usual , you can still share stuffs with me , be it nonsense or important issues or troubles , though i may not be the best person for you to talk to but i'll try my best to help in whatever i can . I missed all the fun we had together especially with Adeline during gym when you appear suddenly and do a forward roll to make us laugh . Many times you even made a fool of yourself just to make us laugh and also to lighten up the atmosphere in gym so that it won't so boring like training and training and break and drink water and back to training . And yeah yeah yeah . One more thing . You need not put a brave front in front of your friends when you're upset yeah ? i mean , who doesn't get upset at times and feel like pouring and vomiting everything out ? We're all girls . It's alright to cry when we're really upset right ? So yeah , i'll give you a zillliioooonnnn hugs when you're upset , ben 10 stuffs if you want to , 24 hour talking session ( if my mom wouldn't say anything , i'm more than willing to sit down to listen to you ) , or maybe even cry together with you when i can't help . ( haha sometimes it makes me feel better ) i promise i'll do whatever i can in my "limit circle" to help you if you've problems . I love you , and i miss you , and i look forward to seeing you lighting up the atmosphere in gym again . Hope to see you soon (: again , i love you and thank you .

2009-11-04T23:09:00.000-08:00

SHOPPING!

Awesome thing to do ! Went to shop at Dhoby and Orchard while waiting for dad to come join us for dinner . Had snack at secret recipe . CHEEEESSSSEEE CAKE (: Awesomeness . Got a piece from kino at taka last minute and then home sweet home cause my legs are aching like mad . Today was boring , stone at home for piano practices and some school holiday homework ?

2009-11-02T23:24:00.000-08:00

Piano-ed in the morning , newspaper in the morning , housework in the morning , shower in the morning , go out in the afternoon . Serene center with Kris , saw Vans and ANDREA LEE and Beverly and some other kind kind band people . Obviously Andrea lee is being an EXTRA , as what she've always been . 153-ed to Gloria's house . Stone and eat and computer and talk and make fun of her brother who is made up of skin and bones and nothing else . Off to meet friend at 4.30 which i'm gonna be late . (:

2009-10-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN !!!!!!!

Its halloween and i'm spending the time with cousins . Went to cousin's house while mom and aunt go for business talks at harbourfront with uncle , leaving me and 2 kiddos and a maid at home . Having lunch and dinner there . Hmmm anyway, i look forward for next year , though i missed this year . And i especially look forward to chinese new year cause i get to get new stuffs . (: Oh well , school's over . Now i began to miss school alot cause its damn boring at home . Least today i get to have fun . (: and then tomorrow would be gran's house ? another cousin gathering . hawhawhaw . Anyway , i've no idea why but i suddenly don't look forward to gym trainings . Thinking about doing up my routine sucks ass . Its damn tiring and i just wished that i can do everything and i can do anything i like but apparently its not my choice . I don't have any choice here . And perhaps its cause Jin Hui is leaving that makes me lost interest in it . Though Adeline claims that she's coming for the trainings . Omg starting from 17 nov i'm gonna be so tired plus lazy . Its a everyday training thing . I'm sure lao shi's gonna scream at me . Now i finally get it why Jodie and Adeline didn't wanna be in Optionals . Its not only the vs people in national team but a lot more than that . Grah , i don't know what to do .... hmmm til here . byebye!

2009-10-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

PICTURES! GREAT YEAR INDEED 2/7'09 !!!!!

Awesome year seemed to have passed so fast , so gonna miss 2/7!!!!!!!!!!
people get back report book but i didn't , fucking librarian . Hmm never mind about it , haven't class outing soon ! Its the company that counts again . (: Most importantly , someone important to me is leaving . :(

JIN HUI : You're leaving , please take the memories with you . Who in the world is gonna make sure i ti tui properly ? who is the world is gonna make sure i don't slack during gym ? who in the world is gonna ti tui with me in future after you leave ? who is the world is gonna be my crack back partner after you leave ? who in the world is gonna go for big meals with me when we're hungry ? Who in the world is gonna guide me in all the leadership thingy for gym ? Who in the world is gonna complain to me that she've butt cancer ? (i won't be able to complain to you anymore.) Who in the world would give me advices when trouble comes to me in gym ? Nobody but you .
Wishes you bright future ahead , good luck in life .
I miss you .
MehMeh loves Jin Jin .

Shermaine : hawhawhaw! meh meh is gonna be in the same class as shermaine for 5 years ! omg awesome right ?! hahahaha , same goes to min min . We see each other grow up for 5 years . love you , as mehs always do.

Limin : min min is the love ! hahahaha , yay same class, must appeal to bio okay ?! awesome . Aubrey's gonna be with us again ! (: omg so happy though i didn't get to take a math. haha . see ya next year , loves . I wanna go your house again !

Kris : we're not gonna be in the same class . But to me , it doesn't matter . True friends need not be together everytime . If we're true friends , i believe we'll always be no matter where we are yeah ? So don't blame yourself for making me not getting my report book today cause its really stupid and its so so so not your fault . Its no link to you , so please . Stop blaming yourself . Thanks for spending time with me and always chilling out with me at coro and serene , you've made yourself an awesome buddy (: good luck in life . BOND .

Taopang : AIYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you not same class as me eh ! so who monitor my work if i don't listen in class ? You know i'm forever slacking and everything right ? aiyo .... haha okay nevermind . Eh you get to bully me right ? but i didn't get to bully you eh . see you during class outing and i'll make sure you're drenched from head to toe ! hahahahahahah BEEEWARRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! HERE COMES MEHMEH!

Jillyn : Foong ah mah , where is my reply letter ? AHEM AHEM . haha not same class eh :( but doesn't matter lah hor , same as kris . Always close right ? And we will be right ? My little piano mate plus camwhore mate ! (: rawrrrrrrrr. stop peeing in your pants and say its raining . get it ? short hand plus short leg ?

err,,, so is it raining ? wait , let me check my pants .

Shalini : AHAHHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA , you like hwa chong boys right ? think i don't know . hahahahahah , anyway enough rubbish . okay here i go . Same class next year but you're taking physics while i take bio (: 961 bus partner (: hahaha . all the best , see you next year !

Deena : deena ! mamamamamamamma ! hahaha , aiyo . same class again uh . if you sit behind me next year i swear i'll laugh . Are you gonna get your hot pink bag next year for school ? ahem , haha besties ! good luck and see you next year , i so so so look forward to bullying you (:(: i'm sorry then . hahaha.

Celeste : ahem ahem . hug hug . haha . anyway , its been a great year though i'm not say very close to you or something but you've made yourself an awesome friend . Remember when mr kelvin chua came and the whole bunch of us were using ipods and phone ? but he didn't realise us ? haha . and you were listening to my shity ipod ? yeah . Haha , but apparently i don't think we get a chance to even listen together again during class time . Anyway , its alright . (: i wish you good luck for next year , and best buddies yaw ! (:

jin hui , i owe you this picture . Best buddies ever , good luck in life .
kristiania , esther , me , nat , edrea , cheryl , alex , jodie , you . AYG + NDP 09.
hoop and clubs are awesome!(:

me , hugging the card that jin hui wrote to me to sleep (:

yes kris , no matter what .

2/7 ! Deena , abigail , jeanette , caroline cho , celeste , shermaine , rachel oun , danielle , dhia.

AWESOME PICTURE UNDER SUNSHINE (:

jillyn and shalini

li min and i (:

my eyes (:

shalini's braces.

me and nabilah.

2009-10-28T07:08:00.000-07:00

Whoa , caught a flu , went to school . Omg i'm in second class , though its like with friends but one subject that i didn't get was A maths . Quite happy though to get to go to Min min's house . Her grandmother was nice and she kept insisting that me and Kris must drink something . HAHAHA . Anyway , one year passed really fast .

Kris : we're in different classes next year . I swear i'm gonna miss you , and i will , i certainly will . We've to concentrate on studies kay ? I mean , for the future luh . And we could still chill at coro if we wanna right ? We could still share lame stuffs and some other nonsensical stuffs right ? We could still take each others secrets to our grave right ? The spirit that we normally had , would still remain , right ? Besties forever (: and ever . I promised , right ? I love you .

~could we ?

Adeline : Thanks , i'll miss you still as i always do , and yes , one year passes really fast . I don't have time , honestly speaking . I'll treasure everything . I love you , thanks for coming for gym to encourage me . (:

~thank you , i love you .

DIONE : RAWWRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I MISS YOU LIKE MADDDDD TOOOOO!!!!! YAY YOU'RE COMING BACK FOR GYM ! Its been a long time since we go for any outings or whatsoever . But i wished we could still be like before , encourage and share some other nonsense during gym or outside gym . And one more thing , feel free to talk to me if you've troubles kay ? though you always look like you're fine and everytime like so happy . haha . But i know you've your own problems too . I'm willing to listen , no matter how long it is . I love you still . And i miss you .

~ can time please rewind ?

2009-10-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

Cousin's gathering !

Hmm , a Sunday . Omg you know what ? Mom didn't take my phone about it ? She kept quiet ? well , i don't know . Gonna head to gran's house later , a very sunday thing . I didn't crave to go to school today just because tomorrow we'll get our results for maths , Chinese and English . But i missed all my friends badly . Now that exams are over , which is a good thing , she didnt' really comment on anything which i find that i'm not used to ? Bros've been mugging hard for their exams too . 2nd's mugging for As , 1st's mugging for whatever exam that i don't know ? Some Uni exam . I felt a little sort of guilty when i get to use that comp and roam and laze around at home while they mug . And everytime they would give me a wa lau good for you la look . And then i would smile and then heh heh . They wouldn't be able to join me for gran's house though , as they would be mugging . Grah , no company for me today :( .. Nothing much to do even though i switch on the computer . Now i hope that there would be outings waiting for me . I'll join you all as i promised . Hmmm , besides meeting up friends i still wished to meet up someone important . Someone that i would share everything with , someone that i would miss and think of badly whenever i'm feeling bored and wishing that she'll be here , someone that i would always forgive no matter how many mistakes she made , someone that would be there for me when i'm troubled , someone that would forever be giving me advices to problems , someone that would make sure i would be able to stand on my own feet after she left , someone that never fails to give me chances over and over again , someone that i badly need to talk to now to let everything out , someone that i've been waiting for day after day during training , someone that never fails to let me know that she loves me .

Adeline .

2009-10-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

Got back my results . Quite upset about it , though . But it was an improvement . I was surprised when mom said good . I expected her to say that i didn't work hard and i didn't study and whatever shit . Well , so far , apart for Integrated Humanities , which i expected it to fail and it did cause i didn't have time to finish the paper and whatever that i didn't finish had super heavy weightage , I passed Literature , Science and omg HOMEECONS! I used to fail it cause i didn't really bother studying it . But this time i just flip my text book and i scored 67 :) yay ? haha . Lit got 64 , which i'm quite happy about cause i used to fail it too though i did study everytime . Science got 66.5 which is quite a disappointment but improved . Kris got 77 and she's sitting beside me and now she's feeling really bad for scoring higher than me by quite a lot . Well i find that stupid . If i were her i would be over the moon ? -.- Sort of teared quite a bit . And everyone made it to sec 3 . Awesome (: Monday would get to know maths , english and chinese ( the only subject that i'm confident to get at least 65 ) . Maths paper one is easy but paper 2 was hard . English was okay and chinese's easy . hmmm . i still can't believe that mom said it was good . Omg . THANK GOD MAN !!!!!!!!!! (:

KRIS , I PROMISED , NO MATTER WHAT . SO DON'T WORRY . (:

2009-10-21T20:29:00.000-07:00

SUHUI IS HAVING A VERY VERY VERY VERY BAD BAD MUSCLE ACHE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Went to school , had digital music . Though's quite boring but its the company that counts (: Shermaine and Kris and obviously the extra Andrea is with us . Shermaine's music is awesome , but she claims that it sucks , well i don't know . I don't look forward to the weekends , as next week would be the '' really gonna check papers '' week , tell me how would you expect me to survive and go home to have peace ? More than 70 percent i'm gonna do as well as my midyears which sucks . Yes no phone , how do you survive then ? I'm so gonna die . Everytime when i see my friends playing happily i would start to worry about it though there's no point worrying now and that the marks would be fixed and its just whether i die now or later . Grah i really don't know what to do . I wish time could just stop now to wait for me to have enough fun before getting killed . Never mind .

Hey love ,
Its not your fault kay . I mean , yeah regarding yesterday , your mom didn't allow , not that you don't wanna come . And its really my fault for not studying hard enough to get my phone back . There's nothing to do with you . I promise you that i'll meet up with you one day which i hope is as soon as possible , and i won't care if there're any consquences . I mean i've been facing it since p3 ? So yeah . Don't put the blame on yourself kay ? Everyone makes mistakes and everyone forgets , not only you . Its okay though if i can't save it . You could send all the pictures to me through computer . I miss you and i love you as i always do .

I'll do my routine well , and i'll be calm , just like you . (:

WAI WAI'S THE LOVE ! AND SHE SHALL ALWAYS BE (:

Love ,
Meh Meh
-----------------

2009-10-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

Went to school for STOMP . I thought its gonna be damn shit but well its quite fun anyway ? Kris and Shermaine were damn funny , as usual . Andrea being some extra , tagged along . Never mind . Tomorrow got handball (: My favourite game in primary school apart from volleyball . Great (: Went home quite early today . Slept like i haven't been sleeping for a week . Woke up and ate dinner . SMOKED DUCK !!! (: Whoa i ate like i never ate it before and i just shoved everything in my mouth . HAWHAWHAW .. Can't wait for gym to resume tomorrow and get muscle aches than staying at home to stone and rot . I bet i 'deprove' like mad . I swear i'm gonna get muscle ache the next day , and if lao shi were to be there to sum up my routine for me i'll just die on the spot , frankly speaking . Omg i'm damn afraid of getting the results back . I mean i already know how is it gonna be like just that i don't wanna face it . Grah .

Please , someone kill me now .

2009-10-19T02:47:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NABILAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahem . one register number before me .

hmm you've made yourself a great classmate . Thanks for always tolerating me during lessons when i always ask stupid questions . haha happy birthday and good luck when school reopens for the results . Awesome classmate !

(rawr ! don't kick my chair during exam ! )

Caught Imagine That with bro and mom . Awesome movie . And i swear i've been laughing almost throughout the whole movie . That little girl was so cute and her father was damn funny . Oh well , went home for dinner . And then started blogging .. quite a boring day but getting to watch a movie with bro is the awesomest of the awesomest thing to do . Well actually he've been my movie buddy all the while . Hmmm , i don't look forward for next week . I've 13 more hours to death . Omg , rawrrr..... i miss gym . Especially wai wai .

AIR - DER - LIN : hey wai wai , i swear i missed you like mad . I don't even have time to talk to you or meet up with you . and now i don't know if i can cause of my shity results . I hope to see you in gym everytime before exams but you couldn't make it . Well i hope you can come after Ns . Nat missed you too .. I hope you won't pass out so fast ... i was looking forward being your teammate for optionals but lao shi just wouldn't allow . And i'm afraid that i'll screw up my routine next year .. crap . oh well , hope to meet up in the holidays . miss you .

* BEST SENIOR EVER *

Love you as i always do ,
Meh Meh .

2009-10-16T22:56:00.000-07:00

Nothing much happened these few days . Gonna go out to catch "the message" with bros and mom while dad went gran's house . Omg , i'm craving for SWIMMING again ! RAWR ! I so wanna go for more outings . Just that results are out next week , and i guess not only i'm not allowed to go out but computer too -.- Absolutely no comments about it . Cause i guess i did pretty badly . Maths 2 sucks , Humanities sucks , Home Econs sucks . That's like half of the whole exam already luh please .. now i just need someone to get me a coffin for me to stay in there forever .

*I miss Kris , Jill , Shermaine , Ounnie , and Minmin :( ..

~ Can there be no such thing as next week ?

2009-10-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

kris and i .

Ew , who's this ? Dummest ass in the world . Of course its shermaine (:

Kris, Kim and Meh .

I was laughing til i felt like crying.

I swear i never regretted bullying shermaine (:

Dum-mest of the Dum-mest photos Kris ever took .

Kris ! i want !!!! Omg caramelised muffin is awesome !

I was busying tap taping .

i'll never forget this . Jill , Mel , Shermaine and i were laughing like mad when shermaine pressed its stomach .

2009-10-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

Yay . Exams are over . Frankly speaking , i don't really look forward to it . I guess its cause i don't wanna know the results . Caught Pandorum yesterday after exams . Average movie . No school , good thing . But i look forward so much for more outings !

Jill , Kris , Min min : Sorry , i'll go with you all one day , and i won't give a damn about any other thing . I promise .

2009-09-10T01:58:00.001-07:00

Gran's house early the morning , don't know for what . Breakfast and Lunch there and then came home around noon time . Mugging and mugging . EXAMS IN 2 WEEKS OR LESS . MUG HARDER SUHUI .

2009-09-09T06:46:00.000-07:00

Oh well , i can upload pictures again . Anyway , thanks Jillyn , TaoPang , Shermaine and Rachel Oun for making me cookies for my birthday . Which is next monday =.= Haha , touched , touched . Rachel Oun passed me the cookies and i went home to taste it . It taste alright though Tao pang and Jillyn kept saying that its chaotar-ed . Haha i've no idea why though .

well done tao pang , luckily i didn't go lao sai after that . I've very high immune system (:

Thanks tao pang again .

hey , thanks for teaching me stuffs all the while when ever i don't pay attention in class as you know most of the time i've been sleeping til these few weeks before exam . Thanks for everything (: Good luck for exams , loves .

Oi . Can you stop peeing in your pants and say its raining ? Lol . haha . HEHEEEEE . short legs . short hand . DONG MA ? BU DONG YE YAO DONG (: haha thanks . Loves .

Ahem . Okay , clear the misunderstandings yeah? Thanks too for keeping my ipod out of danger from andrea lee . Thanks for all the while helping me though most of the time you're not showing me that you're even helping . 1/6 o8 (: love you .

Haha yes , i'm touched too . Cookie delivery to block 325 with mama . Thanks a lot (: come to school more often ! (: Loves .

2009-09-06T02:34:00.000-07:00

Sunday as usual , a day at gran's house with relatives . 2 kiddos , aunt and uncle went China to visit relatives ( aunt's from china ) . Gran would be lonely , so mom intend to stay at gran's house for a few nights . Yes i've 3 weeks left for exam . Mugging really hard . September holiday won't be going out except maybe getting piano piece at kinokuniya . School reopens on 14 september which is an unlucky date . I've got Literature test and Science test coming up . Quite no life nowadays though , but i don't really have a choice do I ? Hmmm , can't wait for after exams again like the mid years . This year's time seemed to passing very quickly , i could still remember i just had Dots camp not long ago . And now its already september and we're having finals in the next 3 weeks and in another 2 months or so , sec 3 -.- well sec 1 is the only year that you can just sleep through and as long you listen in class and if you're smart enough unlike me , you can pass with flying colours already . But now its so impossible -.- And that's a sad thing . I wanna go swimming again ! Wow , now i missed sentosa though i went to sentosa like a million times in this year .. Dinner at gran's neighbourhood was awesome (: and then home to study again .

-I've no time to waste anymore . Either i made it through this time or i don't .
-Be happy that you get 2 warnings , my dear friend , because everyone gave you a chance before this thing happened again on Rachel's blog . But don't be too glad , because you won't be given too many chances . Again , I would like to remind you that everyone has limits . Don't push your luck .

2009-09-01T06:42:00.000-07:00

Great day . Well its teacher's day and Kristina's birthday . I considered it super fun cause there was cake smashing and because of that we got reprimanded by Ms Karen . Heard that Rachel Ann and Danielle got cake on Mrs Leong's face and she got angry and then a lot of things happened . Haha i don't know . Kris bought me some hair tie that i found it quite cute , thanks Kris and sorry for getting you into trouble ( whatever that happened in space ) just cause i didn't know i wasn't suppose to touch it :( Anyway , i promised to save for her a birthday present . Hmm , after that was back to primary school . Surprised to see a lot of people there , well we can't even enter the school cause it was so so so packed ? Yeah , met up with Joe We , Jolyn and Grace at causeway point and then came Eugenie and Kenbe . Had Mos for lunch and then head to school . YES , SHEENA HAS GROWN . She's like 4 cm taller than me now luh please , p6 she was like around 5 cm shorter -.- YES DRINK MORE MILK . That's what she thought . Saw kellyn and guan yi , well no offense but only kellyn changed :p . Ms Rama grew fatter , that's what i know . Well , i saw my P1 buddy who is now P4 . At first she don't seemed to recognise me , but after me staring at her awhile , she mouthed to her friend :" hey , my buddy . " I smiled and was glad that she could still remember me . Haha . Yes she grown too , but still small and cute (: Oh well , after that went to minimart with everyone and took pictures . though its a one year meet once thing , i was contented that i could even have time to meet primary school friends . Went home to mug after everything and saw katherine , she grown alot taller -.- Never mind , i'm short .

Suhui needs to mug .

2009-08-29T08:56:00.000-07:00

whoa haven't been posting . and i've been seriously mugging . Grah . must mug more . And monday'll be teacher's day and i'll be going back together with Joe We , Jolyn and others which i'm not really sure who . HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTINA !

2009-08-24T03:15:00.000-07:00

Yes , obviously mom's not in again . Doing english work . New skin , cause the old one suck though its quite nice . School's as usual , boring . Just that this time its better cause we came to school for 2 tests . Almost all the teachers weren't around . I don't know if its a good thing though . Exams coming , i need to remind myself that . I'm currently surviving on a small + lousy ipod shuffle . Save me .

2009-08-22T03:00:00.000-07:00

Hmm , okay . blogging once in a while . Probably a 10 days once thing . I can't do anything about it can i ? Exams are around the corner . Well its really around the corner , around 5 weeks plus minus to exams . And i need to freaking mug for it to get good subjects combination cause i just realised NA's subject combination sucks to the core . Taking those subject combination i can might as well not study . No O level music . No pure sciences , study until so so so hard in the end your results are combined . What the heck . Yes , bro's right . I've to study now . And its seriously now and if i don't start now , i've to start sooner or later . If i start later , my results would suck more than i study now . So , better to start now .

Suhui is mugging without a phone and thankfully she found a ipod shuffle though its super lousy and that would save her life on the bus .

2009-08-18T05:36:00.000-07:00

ANYTHING , 68840318 .

Yes , obviously mom confiscate my phone because of some problem that i don't wish to say cause its over . Yes i'm living without a phone now . And it sucks . No music , no exercising of finger , no calls , no time , right pocket not heavy , infact its empty . Ah well , shan't elaborate about it . Guess what ? First time in my life . Humanities test 14/18 . with a smiley face and a wooden peg by disco ball . I was shocked seriously . Went home to let mom see it and she just said okay . What can i do ? Anyway , i just found out i've a really old ipod shuffle that still works ! yay . (: least i don't die on the bus .

2009-08-11T23:25:00.000-07:00

One more thing . YOU .
You , don't try to act like you know everything , when you don't know a single shit about what exactly's happening .
You , don't run away from problems that you can't solve , cause this shows how weak you are .
You , might forget the date and day and time and place of where something happened not quite long ago , 23th april 2008 , 5.30 pm at Queensclose block 21 , but i do remember . It isn't a very long ago thing to me , because it happened to me , NOT YOU .
You , don't be some extra and follow people where ever they go and treat them really nice , and dump them when you find that you have a better friend .
You , don't bitch about people in your private blog , when people didn't do anything to you . This shows how coward you are when you make your blog private .
You , don't think that people like you a lot because you only know what you see but you don't know what's behind everything .
Lastly , I'm not trying to say anything and neither am i trying to side anyone . I say what i feel is right and if you've a problem with this you can come to me . Please uh , again , don't bitch anymore in your private blog , cause you may think that people don't know what you're doing ,
But i do .

2009-08-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

Whoa ! i can suddenly upload pictures . Great (: My computer is back to life ! (: well its actually swimming day on 7th august . Its just fun fun and more fun . Thanks to people who went . I've been craving for swimming damn long and now yeahp the day came ! (: anyway , didn't go to school today . I was super sick . Fever at 38 in the afternoon and then flu , sore throat , cough and upper lung infection . THIS SUCKS please . I may get MC for 3 days . I'm gonna freaking miss all my friends at school . Though its a yay for not going to school but thinking about how mom restricts you from everything , will make me miss school though its boring and teachers were bloody irritating .
AHHH!
Misses Shermaine , LiMin , Sonia , Kristina , Jillyn , Melissa Tan , Melissa Wong , Shalini , Tao pang , Rachel Oun , Jiang Yun , Audrey , Caroline Halim , Aubrey , Gloria and Gina !!!

2009-08-11T22:40:00.000-07:00

erm .. hahaha (: shermaine and i .me and tao pang .
jillyn says : HEHE ! YOU CAN'T SEE ME ! -.-

Limin and i . Damn funny at kfc .

oh eww.. who's that ? forever laughing at everything . There's nothing i can say :p right jillyn ?
Danielle and i.
Finally shermaine's eyes look slightly bigger .

And that's obviously my hand (:

yes jillyn i agree , this is super cute . haha !

Now , my blog is all messed up . I seriously need help -.-